Another Halloween Bites the Dust

  It occurred to me that I have been taking kids trick or treating for 22 years now.  My youngest kiddos are almost 11 and my trick or treating days are numbered.  The pictures show my son Nick as a crazed Phillies fan and the pants I painstakingly made him all with my own 2 little hands.LOL  The other picture is of my twins Nick and Lauren in their halloween finest.  Lauren was dressed as the Queen of Hearts.  Just thought I'd give you a chance to see my little guys.  Wonder if next year they will still want to trick or treat with MOM tagging along????

Check for Sexual Offenders in Your Neighborhood

Just thought it might be a good idea for all of you to check this site for sex offenders in your neighborhood.  Just put in your zip code and it will tell you the address of any offenders as well as if they work near you.  You should be able to see the convictions and a picture.  I know we have a few in our area and I have actually shown my kids their houses and shown them their pictures online.

Good Luck and let's keep all our kiddos safe this Halloween!

familywatchdog.us

Recipe for Golubtski aka Stuffed Cabbage

Jen and Yanka...here is a great recipe for golubtski aka stuffed cabbage that is pretty easy. My mother always made this and here is how she did it.  I know I love stuffed cabbage and now I am hungry...I think I'll be making it tomorrow.

Ingredients:

1 or 2 large heads of cabbage

2-3 teaspoons of canola oil

1/2 cup chopped onion

2 lbs of ground beef

2 cups of rice (brown or white depending on what you like)

1 beaten egg

Salt and pepper to taste

2 cans condensed tomato soup

2  1/2 cups water

1)Core the cabbage and put in a large pot of boiling water, cover and cook about 8 minutes until the leaves are soft enough, remove all the leaves.2)saute the onion 3) mix the meat, onion, rice, egg, salt and pepper. 4)take each leaf and place a heaping spoonful of meat mixture on it.  Tuck the sides over the meat while rolling each leaf around meat. 5) chop any remaining cabbage and place some on bottom of dutch oven (I don't have one so I just use a very large pot) 6)layer cabbage rolls then cover with remaining cabbage. combine tomato soup with water, stir, then pour over cabbage and rolls. 7) cover, bring to a boil then reduce heat and simmer about 1 1/2 hours.  MAKES 6-8 SERVINGS

Now this is all I can think about!  Good luck ladies and let me know how it turns out!

Stop Sweating the Small Stuff

 Some really good advice from one great lady.  Stop sweating the small stuff...in the end those things really don't matter.

 
IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck 
(written after she found out she was dying from cancer). 

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day. 
  
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage. 
  
I would have talked less and listened more. 
  
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded. 
  
I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace. 
  
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
  
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband. 
  
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed. 
  
I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains. 

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.. 
  
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime. 
  
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle. 

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, 'Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.' There would have been more 'I love you's' More 'I'm sorry's.' 

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute.look at it and really see it . . live it and never give it back. STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF!!! 

Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what 
Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.

I see so many of you lately fretting over the small things in life.  Let's just let them go and enjoy life a little more.  Enjoy our families a little more.  Let the dust bunnies roam free for just a bit...really they don't eat much so let them be.  Have fun...do whatever brings a smile to your face.  Have a great weekend!  Big Hugs to all of you!

Devastating News For My Son

Today is a very sad day here at our house.  My son is having a very hard time dealing with a horrible situation.  My son's friend took his own life late yesterday afternoon.  The child was only 21.  He hung himself in his family's home.

We got the call about 6:30PM.  My son was @ work.  I told my husband I would go to my sons work and tell him face to face.  I didn't want him to hear from someone else.  When I got there I learned he had already found out and had gone home.

This boy was a friend of my son in high school.  They played on the same baseball team for years.  Now anyone who knows my son knows he lives and breathes sports even now.  This boy traveled a much different path than my son after high school.  He got in trouble, did alot of drugs and gave his Dad a real run for his money.

Now we've heard over the years of his struggles to find the right path and we knew his Dad finally had to show him some tough love.  About 2 weeks ago my son heard from B after not hearing from him for some time.  He sent him an email that broke my heart and touched my son in a way that shook him. B said that he had moved back home with his Dad after some time on his own. B sent an email asking my son to hang out more.  B told my son he wanted to be more like him and told him that he's always looked up to my son for being so real.  He wanted to play on the adult baseball team and football teams my son runs and was willing to do whatever was needed to be part of the group again.  He needed that.  He needed to be around guys who were clean cut and had direction in their lives. The email went on and on and made me cry.  It was such a touching email and an affirmation that my son had the power to touch someone's life so directly.

My son emailed him back and told him he was here for him and welcomed him to the team.  He didn't know where they could get him in but it would be somewhere.  They sent a few texts back and forth and he was to show up at this weeks game. 

Apparently B. had something occur in his life that overwhelmed him and he just lost touch with reality and took his own life.  He posted a message on facebook right before the horror.  It said "I love you all.  I am so sorry."  Now I don't want to speculate what it was but I have a feeling it has to do with his girlfriend.

All I could do is sit here with my son last night and be quiet.  He would talk a little and then watch Tv.  We did this all night long.  My son is just having a hard time understanding what could be so bad that tomorrow couldn't fix.  He is devastated. He is questioning what more he could have done and why he didn't see it coming.  He's asking me for answers.  All I can tell him is that B was trying to get his life together.  He was working the program but something must have set him off.  Something that overtook his senses at least for awhile.  I told him that in order for someone to take his own life they could not have been in the right state of mind at the time.

I hate these times as my kids grow older that Mommy can't fix it anymore.  I can't mend this one.  I can't fight this battle for him...there is no one to fight.  All I can do is be here for my son while he struggles through one of life's hazards.  Caring comes with battle scars sometimes.  This is one of those battles.

I have no doubt my son will get through this and I promise to be at his side holding his hand all the way.  Wiping his tears if need be.  My heart bleeds for B's Dad.  He has raised him from infancy alone.  The birth mother walked years ago and handed him his son when they were only teenagers.  He was a great Dad.  All the guys are rallying around him...they are giving him the only comfort they know how to give.  They are sharing their hearts with him.

Please say a prayer for B's family.  They need them so much to get through this.  Make sure you stress to all the young people you know that nothing is that bad that the only answer is to take your own life.  I plan on reminding all my kids and their friends that I am always here for them no matter what.  I don't ever want to have to hear again that someone felt so alone in that moment that they could find no other way out of their misery.

Parents Denied Entrance

Pa. State law requires all school employees to undergo  background checks but it does not require its volunteers to do the same.Our School Board told me it was law.  Do they think I can't read?

I have been battling our school board for 2 solid days over a ridiculous rule they have put in place in our schools. Any volunteer who will be in our schools, at a school function or in contact with our students to secure a police criminal history report, a child abuse clearance, tuberculosis test results and a federal criminal history report and fill out an application that looks like an employment form complete with SS#, past job experience, did you ever get fired or quit a job and why.  Those who have been convicted of a criminal offense will be decided on case by case.

Now at first glance you are saying this is a great rule but when you understand all it covers you will be shaking your head just as I am!  For example..we have a fall dance Nov. 6th.  The fall dance is at night attended by students WITH their parents.  We have people who volunteer to take tickets, sell sodas, cook hot dogs and walk around the dance making sure everything is ok.  We have special persons day.  A special person for each child sits in the classroom with the teacher and children for 20 minutes while the kids make a presentation.  We have an apple picking trip set up for the kids where each kid goes with a parent on the bus to an orchard. These parents are now not permitted to volunteer at the dance without those clearances even though each child is with their own parents.  The apple picking trip has been cancelled due to the fact that parents do not have the clearances.  Special persons day will be cancelled if Grandma doesn't have a special list of clearances. 

Let's just say Grandma wants to go to the dance with little Chuckie.  She fills out the forms and they find that she was convicted of selling weed when she was 18.  She sold 5 joints to some guy.  Should we nail grandma's butt to the wall and deny her entrance to the dance.  I mean grandma is now 72 years old.  Do I care if she did that way back then?  Or how about the Dad who had a DUI at 20 and he's now 45.  Do I have the right to tell him that he can't come?  No but according to our school board they do!

While I absolutely understand that volunteers who come into the school on a regular basis should have these clearances I do not understand why it is now necessary to have a clearance to attend a dance with your own child or to pick apples with your own kid. Why on earth does the guy who will be grilling hot dogs have to have a clearance?  What could he possible do to the hot dogs?  Really this is over the top!  Now if my memory serves correctly no one at the hospital asked me for clearances to take my children home.  I didn't have to pass a test to have them.(although some women should have to take that test)

While I will fill out the forms myself why should both parents have to fill these out to attend a dance?  The cost for a couple to fill out the forms and get the tb test is over $200 and that depends on the amount the doctor visit costs you.  All this to go watch a 1st grader run around a gym. 

We have 9 school board members.  I called all 9.  5 of them agreed with me.  4 ignored my calls.  I was told the apple picking trip would be excluded and could go on.  I was told the dance would be excluded.  They lied.  Now it has to go before the board on Oct. 27th.  Guess where I'll be.  You bet your butt I will be in the front row with a posse behind me making damn sure they clarify the difference between a volunteer and a chaperone.  I mean really what's next...clearances to watch my older kids play on the basketball team.  Or maybe that's the rule already. 

This rule was brought to my attention by our principal.  She called me to alert me what was going on.  She needed me to make waves and get this sorted out so that it was logical and reasonable.  She sent out a paper to all parents in her school and told them the trip was cancelled due to the clearance issue.  She has already received calls from the administration that she is being insubordinate by telling me although they can't prove that she told me. 

It all boils down to covering their butts and the size of their swollen egos.  I had one board member ask me if I was trying to scare him by saying I would be at the meeting to make sure they straightened this out.  I am not scary.  I am straight forward.  I tell the truth and never beat around the bush.  I'm too busy for those games.  I am a mother and I am on a mission.  I did promise him that I will be at the dance with both my kids...my clearance will not be back in time.  I'd like to see them drag this Mom out.  Wish me luck on getting this extreme rule changed to be a little more reasonable!

Saying Goodbye To The Past

I got the news last week that the high school I had attended as well as all my brothers and sisters will close its doors forever as of June 2010.  I graduated long ago in 1983...back in the old days.  It was a great Catholic High School right in my neighborhood and I guess I just figured it would be the one thing that would be there forever in the area that I call home to this day.

I learned they were having a "Save the School" rally to fight the Archdioscese of Philadelphia.  While I believe the powers that be would have never announced the closing without a buyer for the massive property and that it is pretty much a done deal with no hope I still chose to attend.  Saturday was a rainy, windy,miserable day in our area and my husband questioned why I would still attend.  I knew I had to go but to put it in words was another ordeal in itself.

I drove the 30 minutes in the rain and arrived on time.  There were cars everywhere and I had to park several blocks away near the park where I had spent many days of my youth to find a spot.  I arrived at the rally and was overwhelmed with how many had braved the weather to cheer on our great school.  I stood in the crowd with my umbrella and didn't say a word.  I listened to every speaker who touted the school's excellent record and spoke of a battle to save its existence.  A teacher I had back in the stone age spoke..he is still there..he never fails to produce the best in the math field to this day...he said he will be like a ship lost at sea without this school.  I believe him..he has taught there for over 35 years.

I looked around and realized I recognized not one person in the crowd.  I did recognize several speakers but no one in the crowd looked familiar to me.  The crowd appeared to be mostly older alumni than me and current students and their parents.  Now that doesn't mean no one my age was there it may just mean not the people I knew.  One man did approach me and gave me a huge hug..."Oh Carol...You look wonderful.  How have you been?  I've looked for you for years."  I hated to burst his bubble but I had to...I am not Carol.  He seemed saddened but I told him I did appreciate the hug.

I moved away from the crowd and just took the whole scene in.  Tears formed in my eyes and I got quite upset.  I was there for a reason and now I had the words.  I had to go there that day to say goodbye.  Not just to a school but to the carefree days so long ago. 

For some that school was just a school.  To me it was part of my neighborhood. I lived just blocks away for 33 years.   It was part of my family for many years.  I met my boyfriend there the first day of school.  He was my boyfriend for 6 years.  I met some of my best friends there.  I went sledding on those hills since the day I could walk.  I partied in those woods and enjoyed every "keg on the cliff."  I walked through those woods to get to my friends house almost every day.  I just thought it would always be there for me like family and now like my family it will be gone too.

I went there to thank my parents for sacrificing to send us to Catholic School.  To thank them for giving me a great education.  I went there to to tell my parents I appreciated them and loved them even if my Dad is gone and my Mom unavailable.

The neighborhood has changed and with the school gone I fear it will deteriorate more than it is now. I left the rally and walked through the park to my car and all the memories of the park flooded me. I found myself bawling in the park all alone and seeing my brothers and sisters right there on the swings.  I remembered the time I left my sister in the stroller and went home with my brother in a cop car cause he had fallen.  I remembered the whooping I got for leaving the baby behind.

I said my goodbye's to honor my parents.  I didn't always understand their ways but I appreciate everything they had done to raise me.  Families don't always stay the same either but I know my memories can never be taken away.  Those are mine to keep.  So thank you Mom and Dad for all of those memories, for all of that love.  You are here with me right now in my heart and no one can take that away!

Serving a Slice of Humble Pie

Last week my daughter Brianna had an appointment at one of the top children's hospitals in Philly.  Her appointment was to check her spine for the 2nd time to see what could be done for her.

Her appointment was for 7:45 AM so we had to leave our house by 6:30 to get there in time.  We arrived in plenty of time...I hate to be late.  We checked in and went upstairs for x-rays.  We were escorted to a cubicle and settled in to wait for the doc.  We know the drill...you almost never see the doc on time but since we were the first appointment of the day our chances had to be good right?  No!  The doc strolled in at 10:00 AM.  No excuse, no apology, all business.  He looked over the films, looked at her back and said she needed physical therapy for muscle issues.  He was in and out in 5 minutes flat.  The nurse came in and asked if I had any questions.  I had just one..."Who told that man his butt is made of gold and he has the right to be so ignorant?"  She just shook her head.  I told her he was a very arrogant man and he was ignorant to boot.  She agreed and said I wasn't the first one to mention that fact.

We headed to PT and the receptionist asked if we had a good visit.  One look at my face gave it away! I was pissed to say the least.  She mentioned that the doc was a surgeon and was rarely on time including the first appointment of the day.  He had no respect for other people's time.  I told her good old doc wasn't going to get very far in life by being such an arrogant disrespectful man and she just smiled.

I left that hospital mad as a tick on a skinny dog's butt!  I was mad!

Now imagine my surprise when my cell phone rang 4 days later and it was none other than the arrogant doc.  He explained that he was calling to apologize after hearing I was so annoyed with his behavior.  (News travels fast in hospitals but damn that was really fast)  I told him I understood what he does is important and I understand having to wait but I did think it would go a long way if he could at least acknowledge the patient and the parent when he came in the room. I told him to remember we aren't numbers...these are our kids...our hearts.  I said " I know its not easy seeing so many sick kids every day and I know you are so busy but what about the parents who travel from all over the region to see you?  You need to appreciate the fact that they were patient and waited or you wouldn't have a job.  Imagine what your own mother would have to say if she knew how arrogant you've become because of your talent.  I don't appreciate you disrespecting my time.  A simple ...hey I'm sorry I'm late would have sufficed. You know doc we all put our pants on one leg at a time.  You are no better than anyone else."  The doc was quiet for a moment and then said "Mrs. B I am sorry.  You're right.  I heard the other day you were mad and I took a few days to mull it over.  I even mentioned it to my own mother and she was appalled at my behavior.  What I do shouldn't be anymore respected than what you do every day....take care of a sick child.  I am sorry I disrespected you and I plan to be more compassionate in the future.    I guess I get so wrapped up in fixing these kids that I forget to appreciate the fact how much these kids go through and how much sacrifice their parents actually make each day.  I promise to do better."  I told him I so appreciated his call...he had made my day! We chatted a few minutes and he said..."Mrs. B thanks for calling me on my behavior...I would hate to think I would have gone on the rest of my career being an ass...Brittany is important to me and I want her to have the best doctor."  I started to laugh...I couldn't help it...I told him his call was a great start but maybe next time...he should look at the chart before calling...my daughter's name is Brianna.  We both laughed and again he apologized.

Now I'm sure I'm not the first parent to complain and I sure did make my feelings known in PT and to the nurse.  I suspect they all felt the same way too.  Maybe my comments were just repeated to the right person, maybe I was just a little more vocal about it...who knows.  It doesn't really matter.  I do believe that young man learned a lesson that day.  I do believe he will be more respectful to his patients and improve his bedside manner.  Maybe all he needed was a slice of my humble pie.  I'm glad he enjoyed it!

Sprinkling the Stars

Well, well who knew!  Obviously I didn't but now that I do ...I'm gonna do my best.

What the heck am I talking about?  Well of course...the STARS.  I knew I could star each one of you but I did not know I could give anyone more than one star.  Imagine my surprise when I discovered I could star each section on your pages.  I felt like a kid in a candy store!

So for the next couple of days I am going to try to get to each of your pages and spread those STARS like wildfire! I feel like a fairy godmother just swooshing in and sprinkling those stars all over your pages.  I just think they are a very nice way to tell all of you that to me you are all special and touch my heart.

I'm also going to try harder to remember to vote for your posts.  I do put my vote in most of the time but sometimes I'm rushing to read what you wrote I forget to vote.

Have a great day ladies and enjoy the STARS.  In my eyes you are all STARS!

WOO HOO These Boobs are Back in Action

I am so excited today.  Not even a kid disaster could shake this good mood!

Several weeks ago I found a lump in my breast.  I was very worried and made an appointment with my doc right away.  I mean come one...these are my boobs and a lump is no joke.  Although I had my yearly Mammo in March and it was all good my doc set me up for a cones mammo and an ultrasound just to be sure cause he felt the lump too!  I know the lump was new cause I do self exams often.

I went for the mammo and ultrasound last week and sure enough they felt the lump too but they had a hard time getting a clear shot at it as the lump was right in the crease below the breast.  They suggested very strongly for me to see a breast surgeon asap.  I did made the appointment as soon as I got home and was kind of upset that it would take a whole week. Really a week is pretty good and I should not have gotten so upset.

My brothers and I have a strained relationship but I did confide in them.  They told me to keep them posted.  I figured they were just saying that to be polite.

I spent the week trying to not think about it and I did pretty good but yesterday when I picked up the films and reports I lost it.  I had to pull over on the side of the road and just cry.  All the what ifs hit me all at once and I have to admit I was very scared.  I started thinking about all the things that could be wrong.  I mean really...a lump could mean cancer.  Who would take care of my kids?  How would I tell them?  I did get it together and push the thoughts out of my mind to drive home.  I mean really I was getting ahead of the game.

I missed my mother so much right then it hurt.  I needed my Mom but since I have explained before my Mom is physically and mentally unavailable to me I had no where to turn. I so needed her love and her strength.  I so wished for her arms to just hold me once again.

It took the hub a few minutes to realize I was upset and he held me in his arms and reassured me whatever the outcome we would do this together.  I am not one to take the hub to the docs with me but he insisted on this one. 

I went this morning and after reviewing my reports, film and a thorough exam the doc said I am A...OK!  Woo Hoo!  The sense of relief was overwhelming and it took me a minute to regain composure!  She thinks its just a fatty tumor and we'll keep an eye on it with mammos every 6 months but it looks good and she gave me the thumbs up!

My hub held me and I cried and he even shed a few tears he didn't want me to see!  He looked me right in the eyes and I anticipated something profound...something romantic....he said "Thank God the Boobs are Back!"  Woo Hoo!

Poor guy was just as worried as I was but held it all inside.  He didn't want to make things worse for me.

So I guess what I am saying is today I am so thankful that all it is a fatty tumor.  I am thankful that God heard my prayers.  I am thankful that I am healthy.  I am thankful for everything in my life.

I still wish I could tell my Mom and she could hold me and rejoice with me but since I can't do that...I figured I'd share here with all of you.

Those of you who do self exams...excellent. Those of you who get yearly mammos...wonderful.  Those of you who keep putting it off...get moving!  Those boobs are important.  You are important.  If you don't take care of them who will!  If you are scared...let me know...I will hold you if even over the phone or here on PNN.  I will rejoice with you or walk that mile with you!  Whatever you do don't hesitate.  Get it done...it may just save your life.

Big hugs to all of you!  It's gonna be a great weekend...I can just tell!

When Will Men Learn?

Someone sent this to me and I just thought I'd share.  We all need a good laugh sometimes.

Go Ahead Make His Day

The sign says "I can make it to the fence in 2.8 seconds ...Can You?

This is probably the greatest sign I've seen in a long time!  I'm voting for the dog to win!

Why Me MOM?

My son seems to never have a dull moment in his life.  For such a young man he has had to deal with many hard situations that really weren't his to deal with at all. Some have been way up there on the scale and this latest one is no different.

My son has a friend from his high school days that I will just refer to as "R."  R moved shortly after graduation and has been away for a little over 2 years.  Within the last 6 months R moved back to the area with her 2 yr. old daughter to live again with her grandparents.  R hangs out with my son on occasion and they are strictly friends.

A few weeks ago R was at my home with my son and another friend hanging out and having a few beers. Halfway through the night there was a knock on our door.  My son answered it since we were all asleep but him and his friends.  It was R's ex boyfriend.  Seems she dated him a month or two and he was having issues with their break up.  My son and the other young man who was here headed outside to assure the ex it was better for him to leave and assured him they were all just friends.  Maybe he could just speak to R in the morning.  My son was curious and asked how he knew where we lived.  Apparently google is that boy's friend. The ex left and all was fine.

Last Friday my son was at school when he received a text from R.  Could he come over asap? She needed him.  My son headed over and had no idea the ride that was ahead. 

Seems earlier that morning R answered a knock on the door and the ex barged right in.  He held a gun to her head and told her to be quiet.  The ex beat her with the end of the gun and raped that poor girl right in front of her baby.  She was battered and bruised to say the least.

My son gathered R into his arms and held her tight.  He told her he would stand beside her through all this.  He took her to the police station and went with her to the hospital.  He held her and cried with her.  He has been her rock.

Saturday the police had the girl come to the DA's office.  The ex called.  They listened.  The ex admitted during the call what he had done and threatened her he wasn't done with her.  He told her no one would believe her word against his...maybe...but his own words did just fine!  The police were undercover outside her house for her family's protection.  The ex was arrested inside her house right after the call. Thankfully no one was home.  He had broken in with his gun drawn to finish what he had started. He was arrested and is now out on a million dollars bail.  The girl has 24 hour police protection.

My son has been there for her and held her up.  I see how hard this is for him.  I know he will be there for her throughout this whole nightmare. 

We sat and talked yesterday.  With tears in his eyes he asked me "Why do people turn to me with the hardest things Mom?  I know they have to tell someone ...I'm not complaining..but why me Mom?  This is so hard. It hurts so bad that I can't fix this Mom. Why does the sign flash on my head..Tell me your problems ..I will help."

We both sat here crying and I looked into that sweet young man's eyes and told him what I have told him before.  He is so compassionate.  He has something about him that can't resist trying to reach out to help.  He would do anything for anyone who needed him and that shows in all he is and does.  His compassion leaves others feeling safe to trust him with their deepest hurts.  They know he is their safe place.  He may not be able to fix things but he can offer them what they need to help themselves.  He gives them the strength to do what they have to do.  He listens and cares.  He is a wonderful man.

I have no doubt this won't be the last hard thing he hears.  It's who he is inside.  He reaches out.  He cares deeply. 

I gathered my 6ft baby as well as I could into my arms and just let him cry.  He looked up at me and said "You know this is your fault.  I'm just like you Mom.  You taught me to love.  You taught me to care.  Thank you Mom."

I don't know that this will be easy on him but I do know it will be harder on R than on anyone else.  My son realizes that too!  He knows he will have the strength he needs to stand by R's side and help her through this.  He knows she needs him and he will not fail her.  She is a lucky girl to have him as her friend.  He knows at the end of the day he can always come home and snuggle up in my arms and I will give him my strength.  Afterall he is my baby no matter how old.

Please keep R in your prayers.  She will need all the help she can get to make her way through this ordeal and heal.

Who's Hands Are These

As I looked down at my hands I had to wonder who they belonged to.  Surely they weren't mine.  Weren't mine smooth and tan?  Weren't  mine slender and agile?  These hands I saw were old and worn.  There must be some mistake.  I felt sad just seeing them for they are not the hands of my youth.

My husband walked in and saw I was upset.  He reached for my hands and held them tight.  He looked into my eyes and spoke softly.  He said "These are the hands of the gorgeous woman I married.  The woman who crept out with me long after dark.  They are the hands of a wonderful mother who has rocked our babies .  They are the hands of a mother who played ball with our children and soothed them when they were sad.  These hands have made many a boo boo go away with just their touch.  These are the hands that have held our teenagers well into the night after their first heartbreak.  These are the hands of the woman I draw my strength from and the woman I cherish.  Please don't be sad...these hands are full of loving memories.  They are forever young in my eyes because today I look and still see the hands of love."

Postal's Dad Hair

Source: www.DADHAIR.COM

I Need Your Help

Good Morning Ladies and Gentlemen

We all know PNN is a place we have found love, support, laughs and friendships....right! Well today I am asking all of you to head on over to one of our own ladies page....MYBOOBIESPLACE http://myboobiesplace.pnn.com/articles/show/50930-cheaper-iced-coffee...and leave a comment of support, love or laughter. We have all been in that place where we struggled to get back up again when our spirits have taken a whooping.  This wonderful lady needs all of us now to help her back up and to see the wonderful woman we see.  Her latest  post is above.  Your comment doesn't really have to pertain to coffee.  Just let her know we are here for her.  Just show her some love!!!

Thanks...I knew I could count on all of you!!! Have a great day!

Thank You

I just wanted to thank all of you for giving me the honor of being voted Most Supportive Commenter of the Month along with my wonderful buddy Jen.  Jen is a wonderful woman who never ceases to amaze me with her ability to find the fun in everything.  She can make even the most dismal situation burst with some aspect of finding the humor. She brings laughter to my days when I thought I would find none.  I will never forget her huge offer to ride shotgun if ever I decide to take a road trip to kidnap my mother back home.  She gets the big heart award for that one in my eyes! Big hugs girl!

I am so glad it wasn't my job to pick the winners.  I thought about who I would vote for and there was no way I could have chosen.  You are all such beautiful, caring, amazing women I would have had to say you all win!

I don't know if all of you realize just how much you have brought to my life.  You help me find understanding when I think there is none, you help me find laughter even when the situation seems hopeless, you bring joy to my life when all I see are clouds.  Some of you bring me your wisdom, some memories of my own life, some tears and always, always support in my own life.

Often I wish some of you could have been born my sisters, even a few brothers, some of you my daughters.  I wish some of you were my neighbors right here at home.  BUT since that isn't possible you are ALL part of my heart!

I wish I could take away all your ills and sadness but sadly I can't. I would gladly fight your battles for you but instead I stand beside you and cheer you on.   All I can do is offer my ear to listen and let all of you know I am here for you. 

I am proud to say I have had the pleasure of peeking into your lives.  I am thankful that all of you have given me that honor of just being a small part of your day.  Big Hugs to all of you.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Love,

MOM

My Dog Has Fleas

Ok...this is an all point bulletin.  My dog has fleas. Anyone who has a sure fire way to rid this pup of fleas please leave a comment....this MOM is at the end of her rope.

We have no idea where he got them but damn ...we need to get rid of them.  A few weeks ago we spotted a flea on Benny.  I went out bought all the artillery and set on my mission.  I treated the carpets and vacuumed.  I bathed all 3 dogs and treated them.  I added a flea spray for extra security and all looked well.  I even treated my entire yard.

Lo and behold Benny jumped in my bed this morning and I saw a big hairy flea.  I bathed him again today, treated the carpet and sprayed him down.  Tonight the hairy flea had a party right on Benny's belly.  This is war!!!!!!

I suspect he is getting them outside.  Our other neighbor has the same issue on her old dog who hardly ever goes outside.  We suspect them are coming from the neighbor's unkept yard.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.  I'm counting on you ladies to pull me through this horrible flea attack!

An Italian Boy's Confession

The Driving Contract

We have a rule in our house.  In order to drive after getting a license you must sign a contract.  The terms are non-negotiable.  The punishment harsh.  I'm not taking any chances with their lives and neither are they.  Some parents may not agree....I will only say it works for us.

The terms are simple.  There will be NO DRINKING AND DRIVING EVER!  There will be NO TEXTING WHILE DRIVING EVER!  If they are caught breaking these terms I have the right to repo their car and sell it.  I get to keep  any $$ from the sale of the car regardless of who paid for the vehicle.  There are no second chances and this is not negotiable.

Now while I'm not telling them it's okay to drink underage...I also don't live in lala land.  If they are older they will drink either behind your back or maybe even in front of you depending on their age.  If they drink while out with the car...they know they are to walk home, sleep where they are, get a ride with a sober person or call me to come get them.  No I won't appreciate being called at oh dark thirty in the middle of the night but I will appreciate the fact that they were responsible and didn't get behind the wheel of a car.  A parent cannot stress this enough.  They will not be punished for drinking even if they are underage but they will have to hear an earful and none of them want that!  When I'm mad they know it!

Now before anyone goes on the attack....I did say it works for us.  Not once has one of my kids drank alcohol and then drove home.  I have had to get up in the middle of the night on occasion to go fetch one of them but it wasn't at the hospital, police station or morgue.  They haven't abused it as of yet.  I'd say...my contract has done it's job and everyone is safe.

I know they shouldn't drink until they are 21 but let's face it some kids do.  I know I did.  I just want them to know drinking and driving has horrible consequences and if I can prevent my children from risking their lives and the lives of others then I will ...no matter what I have to do.

Think about it....be honest...have any of you ever drove after drinking?  Maybe not now but when you were younger?  Did any of you have a contract with your parents?  I'd really like to know.

It's a Boy

My niece had a baby boy on Tuesday, September 15th.  She delivered a 7lb. 13 oz. baby by C-section after a full day of labor.  How on earth the docs thought she could deliver that size baby I will never know.  Before she was pregnant she only weighed about 100 lbs and she's just a tiny little thing.  She is fine now and so is the baby.  The poor little guy had the cord wrapped around his neck twice so thankfully they decided to do the C-section or things could have turned out very differently.

She is now one of the nations many single parents.  As soon as she told the boyfriend she was pregnant he took off.  My brother told me he showed up in the final hour but didn't really say much.  Looks to me like his mother very much wants to be a part of the child's life and he came along at her request.

Now I may just be a jerk but if he doesn't want to participate 100% in the child's life I say she's better off without him.  My brother says every child deserves a Dad.  I say every child does deserve a Dad but only if he plans on being a committed Dad.  If he wants to be the guy who pops in and out of his life....I say get rid of him now!  A child needs committed parents and if it's only a Mom so be it.  She doesn't need the added crap that this guy can bring and neither does the child.

His mother said he'll do what he can.  I say that's not good enough....does my niece get that luxury?  I think not.  She has to do what needs to be done to provide for this baby. 

If she was my daughter I would have told her to talk to him and see if he's willing to be a committed father otherwise I would have told him to get lost.  I would have made him an offer to terminate his parental rights in exchange for him being released from any child support ever.

If she was your child what do you think you would do?

What sends You Over The Edge?

Lately I have been feeling a little overwhelmed.  I don't know if it's because school has started back up again or if it's the changing of the season or if there is another reason.  I do know that I feel like somedays I just want to explode.

I know I can't be the only one who starts thinking of that glass of wine before it's even 9AM.  Now don't get me wrong I don't drink at 9AM but if I drank every time I felt the urge to do it I'd be drunk pretty much at least 5 days a week when I poured the milk at breakfast!  In truth I hardly every drink.

There are some things that simply send us spiraling toward the edge and if they continue the outcome will be bad for all concerned.  Now I do see myself as a person who see the glass half full but there are some things that have me wanting to shove that glass somewhere and it's not the dishwasher!!

Personally seeing my sons dirty underwear on the bathroom floor causes me to whip out a long stick to pick it up and overdose on Lyson spray. Being the only person in a household of 8 who NEVER gets to sleep in is a bit annoying.  People who are envious of others makes me want to pinch them really hard. The number one thing that drives me nuts on a regular basis is trying to have a conversation with one of my family while they are watching TV and they refuse to turn it off or even mute the volume.

So to you my friends....what has been sending you over the edge lately?????

Who Do These Dogs Belong To???

I think these dogs belong to our very own Hannahbanana!  Hannah...you should take better care of your animals!

PERIOD PARTY

This Saturday is the big PERIOD PARTY at our house.  Aren't we lucky our daughter volunteered our house?

Several years ago my daughter and her friends promised each other (just about the time the first of them got her period) that when the last girl of the group got her period they would get together and celebrate with a period party.  Well the last girl got hers in July and its time for the party.

When Brianna approached me with the details of the party and the fact that it was at my house I looked at her like she was a little goofy.  She told me it would be her group of friends that used to be inseparable but have moved on to other groups.  They all still talk but different sports, different schools and so on have taken them on paths that don't always cross.  I shook my head and agreed to the party.  I just didn't realize what the party meant.

Seeing that I am the MOM I do on occasion check up on my children.  Don't want to be blindsided with information I didn't see coming.  That being said I occasionally hack her facebook and read her page.  The other day I read her messages and saw an entire thread regarding the "period party."

Seems I had no clue how much this party means to the girls especially mine.  2 of the girls don't get along these days.  One didn't want to come.  My daughter reminded all of them what they had all meant to one another not that long ago.  She reminded them of the promise that no matter if they went on different paths they would celebrate the milestones in life together and always be the rocks in each others lives.  They know each other through and through and they should be there for one another through life's rocky road.

I read her words and realized what a smart,loving, wonderful girl I have raised.  She went on to give 2 of the girls some sound advice on their current situations of losing their virginity and how they should hold their heads up high and chalk it up to a bad decision and move forward with different values.  She's currently voting for them to be born again virgins!LOL

She reminded all of them how much she loved and cared for them even though she doesn't get to see them as much as she'd like.  She told them all of them could count on her love and friendship forever and that she hoped they'd do the same.  She reminded them that in her heart they were all sisters.  Sisters who would forever share a bond of love and caring.

I am so stinking proud of my girl you have no idea.  She has a wonderful outlook on life and is so full of love and laughter.  She is celebrating all of them becoming young women.  She is celebrating the friendships she has formed with each of them and reminding all of them they are part of her family forever.  She is my girl!  My wonderful baby has grown up.  I am so glad she's mine.

So that being said we will be hosting the First Period Party of the neighborhood.  This shindig will be complete with 8 young women who I am so glad to know.  There will be T-shirts, decorations and all things beginning with P.  Pepsi, pizza, pringles, pretzels and pasta galore!

Sometimes it's not what it seems to be ...sometimes it's so much more!

MUST WATCH...THIS COULD SAVE COUNTLESS LIVES

Watch this video please!  It could save the lives of countless people.  If you have a teen or young adult in your home or even know one....MAKE them watch this video from beginning to end.

This is very graphic so if you have small children near you....please ask them to leave the room before watching.  I did MAKE all 7 of my children watch this....I love them too much to not let them see this!

What Pisses You Off?

The past few days I have found that more and more things have really pissed me off.  Life is hectic enough without all the bull that comes with it some days and I tend to get even more aggravated about things that really piss me off when I am stressed with work and trying to keep all these kids in line and moving.

My kids seem to be in hyper mode now that their summer is coming to an end.  It seems the older they are the worse they act.  When I ask someone to do something for the 5th time in a day I tend to get quite pissy about it!

I know I can't be the only one who gets pissed off...some of you must have something that sets you off like no other.

Lately my hub has been trying to go to the gym BEFORE work.  For him that means setting the alarm for 3:00AM.  It's fine that he wants to go the gym but does he really have to hit the damn snooze 15 times!!!  Don't the damn dogs get me up early enough?  So that being said ...it really pisses me off that often I am the only person getting up with that damn alarm along with the barking dogs.

Just a few of the things that set me off...."whatever Mom." (that's nothing more than a big F-U.) Bad directions, incomplete instructions, rude people, looking for my make-up and realizing one of the girls hi-jacked it, being the only one who knows how to change the toilet paper or is capable of seeing the trash can overflow and last but not least the fact that no one can tell me we have no milk and I have to venture out at O dark thirty to get some!

OK ladies...let it out...what really pisses you off?????

Urine or You're Out

Several of our friends were talking the other day about how unfair the welfare system seems to be to those of us who work.

Alot of people in this country have a job, they work, they get paid.  They pay taxes and then the government uses that money they way they think it should be used.  More and more in order to even get a job one must pass a random urine test.  My hub is in the roofer's union.  Some job sites require drug testing to even step foot on the site.  Some jobs sites require a criminal background check.  If you don't pass these tests there is no work for you and therefore no paycheck.  He doesn't really care that he has to do this but it led to a conversation that left us all wondering.

In order to have the priveledge of having hard earned dollars taxed you must pass a urine test and criminal check.  So in order to receive the hard earned dollars of others in the form of the welfare system shouldn't people have to pass the same tests?  Afterall isn't that only fair?  Even random stores where my kids apply for afterschool jobs have now made these tests part of the requirement for employment.

Please don't get me wrong.  I know there are circumstances where people have no other choice.  Times are tough especially now and sometimes welfare is the only thing keeping them above water.  Many over the years have had no other choice so they could feed their families and I totally understand this situation.

I am referring to the many people who are happy to sit on their butts collecting each month.  I am referring to some who only work the amount of hours that take them just under the welfare limits to still receive that check each month.  I am referring to the many who sit on their butts doing drugs and still receive the fruits of my labor.  Can you imagine how many people who would stop getting a check each month if they had to pass a urine test or worse yet a criminal check?  It certainly would free up alot of money for people who could pass that desperately need the money to survive.

A friend and I were talking recently about her sister who has been on welfare for over 18 years.  She works only enough on the books to make sure her checks are not cut off and then the boss pays her under the table.  Being on welfare she is entitled to lower rent on her apartment and only pays $300 a month for the same apartment that would be $900 a month for me.  She has only 1 child and she is now 18 yrs. old.  She didn't attend public school.  She attended a tuition based Catholic school and you and I helped to fund that education.  I can't afford Catholic school for my kids.  Is that fair?  She went to school to learn how to be an ultrasound technician on the state's dime...she finished and never pursued that line of work.  She has received assistance getting a car and paying the first year of insurance.  Who helped me?  She is a HUGE WEED SMOKER.  She wouldn't pass and therefore she would be bumped off welfare.  Amazing to me that she has enough to buy weed but not food and rent.

I know my hub's cousin didn't work on the books and collected welfare for at least 18 years or so.  Even when she married she didn't report it so that she could continue to base her qualification on solely her income.  Back when they still issued food stamps she often sold hers to fund her drug usage.  Her hub made over $60,000  a year before he started abusing drugs.  Is that fair to all of us?  I can tell you she got a $700 emergency welfare check the day before she died.  She took her kids out for new shoes and returned to the homeless shelter right after she bought the lethal amount of heroin she used later that night and never woke the hell up.  Maybe just maybe if someone threatened to cut off the funds if she was a drug user....maybe her life would have turned out differently......maybe I wouldn't be raising her daughters.

The conversation brewed for some time.  Is it fair to bust your butt to earn a living while SOME take advantage of the system in place to help those who need help?  Please again don't get me wrong many honest people do need help.  Those honest -non drug using people should be helped but what about the ones who abuse drugs and are willing to sit on their butts unwilling to help themselves?  Is it fair?

I know I don't have all the answers but maybe drug testing is a good place to start.  Requiring a recipient to be drug free doesn't seem like a lot to ask.  It certainly would free up some much needed money.

I know everyone must have an opinion.  I'd really like to hear what you think.  Again please don't think for one minute I'm saying honest hard working people who have no choice but to go on welfare are who I am referring to....you know me better than that.

And There She Goes....

As most of you know I get up very early every stinking morning courtesy of my 3 loving dogs.  Usually between 3 and 4AM they let out the bark that doesn't end till they see this MOM get her butt out of bed.  This morning I got a nice surprise.  My son, Billy, heard them (he was still up) and let them out of my room and out the back door for their morning bladder release.  I was thankful and surprised....he never does this.  I went back to bed.

I slept till 6AM when the littlest puppy licked my face and demanded attention.  Okay, okay...I'll get up and so I did.  Half asleep and moving on command I started down the steps.....and whoosh...away I went...from the top to the bottom! Dog ran right under my feet and that's all it took.   How graceful I must have looked sliding down the steps on my back and big butt.  Thankfully no camera's were out and no dogs were hurt.  My daughters came bounding out of their beds to see what the racket was and found good old MOM crumpled on the bottom steps.

I'd love to say no MOM was harmed in this stunt but I beat myself up a little and the bruises will be darling.  I stayed still for a moment and tried to get my big old butt up but that was a no go for a few moments.  My 16yr. old had to pull me up a little at a time and help me to a chair.  (Sitting isn't easy for me right now to say the least)  We both cried a few tears (I tried to hold them in but damn it was a long fall) and I sent her back to bed.

I am fine...a little bruised and sore as shit but I will live to see another day thankfully and nothing is broken although I doubted that for at least an hour.  One of the kids called my hub at work and told him to come home.  I spoke with him and told him I was fine and to stay where he was....Sat. is time and a half...nothing stands in the way of overtime.

By the time that man gets home the bruises will be brewing overtime as well.  I take 325 mg aspirin so that makes the bruising take place quite nicely.  Not sure if he'll believe I ONLY fell down 15 steps ....he's more apt to believe the kids knocked me on the floor and kicked the crap outta me....I look like a prize fighter who laid on the floor for target practice.

Oh well life goes on and football equipment and volleyball items must be purchased today.  My coupons expire at midnight and this MOM will not miss the sale!  I'm sure I'll look a little funny limping and walking as close to a stick as possible but the show must go on and afterall....MOMS must do their duty even under duress!

I have been threatening for days to try the "Jolly Rancher" drinks Mamabear suggested and tonight is the night ladies ...come hell or high water....I think I'm gonna need a few of those by tonight...this MOM's gonna be hurting and those might numb the pain for awhile!

Oh well all in the day of a MOM.  I have learned one lesson...look out for the dogs...sometimes they just love you too much!

Michael Vick Gets A Second Chance with the Eagles

The Philadelphia Eagles have signed Michael Vick to a 2 year contract!!!  This is a very hot topic in my house this morning as well as countless other households all over the US.

For those of you who aren't familiar with Michael Vick he pled guilty to dogfighting conspiracy Aug. 27, 2007.  He was sentenced to 23 months in federal prison.  He was released from federal custody on July 20, 2009.  Michael was an NFL quarterback before this crime but was suspended until July 27th of this year.  He can apply for full reinstatement in October.  Right now his reinstatement is conditional.

There are some who believe he has paid for his crime and done his time.  There are others who believe he should not be given this second chance to resume his football career after what he participated in .....the countless deaths of dogs , the countless dogs who were maimed all for the sake of making money in a huge dogfighting operation at one of his properties.

Andy Reid, the head coach for the Philadelphia Eagles has stated "I'm a believer that as long as people go through the proper procedures, they deserve a second chance."  (Andy's own 2 sons have spent time in prison on drug charges.)  He says "I've seen people close to me get a second chance.  People deserve a chance to prove they can change."

Philly is known as a huge sports city.  The fans are loyal and hardcore.  I'm not sure how many fans will line up to buy an Eagles Jersey with Michael Vick's name on it.  Not sure how many will be asking for his autograph.  I do know that hurting dogs to the degree this man did is horrible! 

This is a hard one for me.  I do believe in second chances but I am a true dog lover.  Personally I am having a hard time giving this man any chances after having seen the faces of those dogs who were maimed all for the sake of $$.  I'm not sure the Eagles did themselves any favors by signing this man.  There are going to be alot of Eagles fans who won't forgive him even if he was a very good football player.  One thing I know for sure....Philly fans don't hold back their opinions and the opinions will be flying on this one...at least for awhile.

What do you think?  Should Michael Vick be given a fair shake by the fans in Philly?  Should he get a second chance?  What about the fact he hurt so many innocent animals??

Does Your Man "Manscape"?

I was recently in the company of my 2 brothers at the same time.  This hasn't happened in years and I was surprised at the differences in their appearances. 

The older brother must not have seen the memo that says to trim and clean that mess up.  He must not have seen the memo that says as he ages hair will grow quickly everywhere but his head.  I couldn't resist calling it to his attention. (I am younger and it's part of my job to get on his nerves)

I called his attention to that thing above his eyes.  One thing...not two as was intended.  I asked him about the bushes growing out of his ears " how often do you water them to make them grow so full?"  (He didn't think I was as funny as my other brother thought I was.)  I asked my younger brother (who looks older than me) to explain the facts of manscaping to the old guy.  I mean really is he living in a cave??  The older one couldn't believe that the younger one trimmed and shaped the wild hairs until he actually noticed.  The younger one waxes his eyebrows, trims his nose hairs and according to his wife does not have an entire rain forest growing down south.  Now the older brother was just kind of looking at the younger one like he was a nut. The old guy asked him "Do you really trim the netherlands?"  The younger one just laughed and said "Your wife will think it looks bigger if she doesn't have to play hide and seek to find it."  We all had a good laugh and I'm willing to bet someone had a new pair of clippers by the next meet-up with the wifey!!

Now not that anyone really cares what my hub does but me BUT manscaping in this house is a priority.  I am married to an ITALIAN and those hairs seem to run wild.  Not only is there eyebrow waxing, nose hair trims, ear hair plucking and clean up of the south end but also underarm trims, back trims and front rug trims.  Otherwise the poor man would be wearing a hair sweater!!

Anyone else out there who has a manscaper living in their house???  Am I the only one it bothers??

Birthday Tears

As most of you know we are raising our niece Tayllor.  She has been with us for 7 years since her Mother died of a heroin overdose.  Although we love her and she loves us there is just some things we can't replace. 

August 8th was her 14th birthday and she always has a tough time on this day.  She so misses her mother.  She has always started the day off well but no matter how good the day goes she ends up crying about her Mom being gone.  I know it's hard on her.  She had a Mom, Dad, brother and sister at one time and the only one still in her life is her sister Angela.  She doesn't come around nearly as much since she moved in with her girlfriend.

Tayllor is really sad this year.  Yesterday was bad and today is even worse.  We've tried talking to her and trying to cheer her up but she just can't seem to shake the sadness.  I've tried always talking about her Mom in  a positive way but this year even I have struggled.

This year I want to just throttle her Mom but that's kind of hard to do to a dead woman.  This kid needs her Mom....she needs her Mom to help her and that is just not possible.

Now don't get me wrong...I'm here for Tayllor.  I love Tayllor but we don't have that mother/daughter thing going on.  She just can't.  We've talked about it...she feels if she loves me like a Mom then she betrays her own Mother.  I understand and I respect that.  Now my hub is another story ....she loves him like a Dad.  She doesn't remember her Dad too much and that makes it easy for her.  She absolutely adores him. 

I have spoken to Angela and strongly urged her to make time for Tayllor even if its a walk around the block.  She needs to be more hands on with her sister and it's time to step up to the plate.  This kid needs her.  The problem being Angela hasn't forgiven her Mother for all she put her through.  Being that she is much older than Tayllor she dealt with so much more over the years.  Angela and I do have the mother/daughter thing and so I have asked her to step up for Tayllor if only cause I have asked her to.   Hopefully this will do the trick!

If only I could shake her Mom up and ask her what the hell she was thinking taking drugs.  Why did she not fight the drugs enough to spend a lifetime with her babies???  I know they were just too strong and she couldn't fight anymore.  Hopefully someone in her life learned something from her death.  A very needless death...this is just one hurt even Aunt Mare can't fix.  All I can do is be here and help her up when she is ready.

I know she'll feel better in a few days.  She is usually a pretty happy kid but no kid deserves the pain of losing a parent at such a young age.  No kid deserves to watch her Mommy buried all because of drugs.

Sorry for the rant but damn it...I am so sick of parents being so selfish and using drugs.  The kids are the ones who pay in the end and they are defenseless against the outcome.

Just For A Laugh

Not for the Squeamish....

Seconds Before Death (chilling)

Warning!  Graphic Boating Photo.

This is a picture of a man with just seconds left to live.

  In case you can't read the caption...it says "Did you name it after me like you said you would?"

I'm thinking this man is gonna have a boat sticking out his butt in about 30 seconds....lesson learned...never tell a woman she has a big butt...just not smart!

(someone sent this to me...I don't know where it came from but I needed a good laugh!)

Can't Be Fixed With A Band Aid

I am a fixer.  That's just who I am.  I try to make things right or help people out and take away their hurts.  I just can't help myself.  This time I just can't fix it.....this one is over my head.

My younger brother has learned the hard way over the years about tough times.  He is married with 4 children and about to be a POP POP.  In the past year he has lost his business and his home.  He has bills out the wazoo and his credit is in ruins.  I can't fix this.  I can only listen.  That kills me.....he is my little brother afterall.  I should be able to help.

When he realized there was nothing more to do to save his business he worked his butt off even till the day they came and locked the doors.  He is a worker.  He said he owed it to his customers to make sure all the jobs were done and their cars were delivered.  He did just that!

When he realized he couldn't save his house ....he searched for a new home.  Very hard to get someone to rent to you when your credit is shot.  He contacted a realtor and finally found a home in the same school district for $2000.00 a month. A man can't be too picky with his credit rating and after time running out he had no choice. He paid the required $4500 security and the first months rent which he had to borrow from our other brother.   He didn't want his older kids uprooted from their high school.

Through his connections he landed a job within a day of losing his business selling cars. He learned quickly , worked hard and is now the number 2 salesman right behind a man who has been there 30 years.  In this economy this is a tough task for even an experienced salesman.  He drives 50 miles each way to work and works almost 90 hours a week.  His thoughts....his kids have to eat.  He can't let them down.

His wife works 2 part time jobs.  One in the cafeteria at the local school and one at Target.  The school job is vital since it provides medical benefits for the family.  She juggles an 8, 10, 17 and 18 year old and gets to work on time every day.

The stress of all this has taken its toll on all of them but particularly my brother and his wife.  They both look much older than their years and just downright beaten down yet they forge on....it's what we do when we have children.

My brother and I spoke just Sunday.  I attended his daughter's baby shower.  We hadn't seen one another in 2 years as he lives very far.  I asked him how I could help....he said me coming so far for his child....that was all he needed.  I asked how he was making it....he said "Mom and Dad told us as long as we have 2 good arms and 2 good legs we better use them so that's what I'm doing.  It could always be worse.  I'm a lucky man."

Yesterday I received a call from my older brother....seems my little brother's issues just got worse....the landlord hasn't paid the mortgage on the home in months and has no intentions of doing so.  A neighbor is friends with the owners and could not watch my brother and his family become homeless.  She told the truth.  The owner has no intentions of paying and doesn't care if the home is foreclosed on...he is getting a divorce.   Now my brother is working relentlessly to find out his rights as a tenant.  He will have to hire a lawyer he can't afford.  He will have to find a way or his family will be homeless again! 

It is beyond me....how can someone be so heartless?  How could someone do this to a family with children at that?  He knew my brother's situation and has just been pocketing the $$$ each month.  I'm not sure how much more my little brother can take but he will find a way....it's what our parents taught us to do.  I offered to let them live here with us....he thanked me and declined.  We live too far from all they know.  I believe he will find a way I just hope he will still be standing to see it.

The Big Snip

A few days ago I posted about a disgusting but serious issue with my dog's butt.  Fozzie (the butt victim) is feeling a little better but still on his meds.  Benny (the butt offender) has not backed off.  He is driving me crazy!!! 

Due to Benny's attitude change from the fun loving dog we had into the dog growling psycho that goes after our gentle giant Jake.  I have made the firm decision to get him snipped, neutered, made to sing like a chick etc.  Now I haven't slept much in the past week due to the chance he may strike.  He has calmed down with the attacks (he's not struck blood as of yet) but my nerves and Jake's nerves have had enough!  He has even nipped me if I got too close to the beloved butt he has come to claim as his territory.

I have been a woman on a mission since about 3AM.  I know my vet wanted to charge close to $300 for  this little guy....(made a MOM want to find the do it yourself instructions online BUT even I might have trouble with that) I checked the local animal SPCA and clinics online and started making calls @ 8AM.  One would do it for $175 next Tuesday...that's good but I thought I could do better.  One humane society clinic said $180 in 2 weeks..when I balked at the wait they said July 29th...still too long.  Then I explained my story.  As luck would have it...I was talking to a volunteer vet and he has an opening in his private practice 3PM this afternoon.  I asked the price...$180.  Well seeing that I'm robbing Peter to pay Paul this week and I have 2 kids who need sneakers before child welfare visits me....I took a chance and pled my case again.  Low and behold...my prayers were answered....Benny will become a SNIPPED doggie this afternoon @ 3PM for $120 smackeroonies!  Thank the heavens.  And the vet is only 3 miles from here instead of the humane society's 10.  He can be picked up @ 7PM to come home for some tender loving calm care!!!!

Now don't get me wrong...I'm not taking him to a backyard clinic but it didn't hurt to plead my case and beg for a quick appointment.  Maybe this is just what Benny needs and me too!  He wasn't planning on becoming a Daddy....he's gonna stay single so really it's better for all of us in the long run.  Just another reason for my hubby to tell me admire my bargaining skills and repay me with the due admiration I so deserve. Haha.  My son told me "You da man MOM."  Ahhh the praise of one's family....Now let's see how much little Benny is loving me later tonight when he realizes his little kahonies/giggleberries are nothing but ornaments from here on out!

By the way....if you are thinking of neutering an animal there are organizations on the web that can point you to discount coupons.  I went to www.spayandsave.  They provide you with a list of area vets who will accept lower payments done through a donation.

Seeking Part Time Job To Pay for Graduation Parties!

Now that we are almost through this graduation season I was wondering just how many of you have been in the same boat as I have been this year.  HOW MUCH MONEY TO GIVE AS A GIFT TO THE GRADUATE?????

The typical graduation season starts in May and rolls for months till all the parties are done.  Some choose to get them done right away and some choose to give people a breather and hold off till the end of July and even August.  Now don't get me wrong I love a good grad party and I believe we should all celebrate the good news...afterall they earned it!  My dilemma has been just how much money do I give?  How much is enough?  How much is appropriate?  Do I give more if it's family?  Does the amount of years I've know the family or child make a difference in the amount?  What if only adults are invited?  What if only the teenager who's friend it is gets invited?  What if I just don't have it?  How the heck am I coming up with all this money?

Seeing that I'm at that stage in my life when alot of our friends children have graduated this year we have had a run on grad parties and my hub is starting to think one of us needs a part time job just to give gifts!  I've already had 3 kids graduate high school in recent years (thankfully no one this year) and have 4 more to go and then we'll have college grads in there too!

This conversation came up after a recent college grad party for a friend's child.  We had only met her once.  One woman said she only gave $25 ...it's what she could afford that week.  I gave slightly more.  Another felt she had to give more since her and the Mom are good friends.

We have one more grad party to attend.  (we've attended at least 6 this year + what our kids have attended on their own )  I still owe graduation gifts to 2 nieces who didn't have parties at all.  Their parents were smart and just gave them the money a party would have cost them.  We have decided we are giving what we think we can afford this week.  Not sure how that will go over...you might hear rumors about me being cheap next week but at least I won't regret that I spent the milk money.

Times are tough for all of us and I'm hoping our friends understand that...if not there is nothing I can do.  While I would like to give $100 I will be giving $50.  That has to be enough and really that's pushing it.....at least this week.

How much do all of you give for graduations?  How the heck do you decide how much to give?  I'm looking forward to hearing what all of you have to say.......

Did You Really Eat That?

My almost 19 year old son called me last night (after I was asleep) from his vacation down the shore with a group of his friends.  He wasn't feeling good and wanted to know what he could do to feel better quickly.  

Now being a mom far away from your child no matter what the age is hard but being away from your SICK CHILD is just a tad more than I can stand. I tend to worry when they are away.  Afterall I am the MOM and I can fix anything right???

The conversation went something like this:

me: What's the matter with you?  Do you need me to come get you?

son: Oh Mom my stomach hurts so bad and when I go the bathroom my butt feels like its on fire. No I don't want you to come...I should be alright by tomorrow.

me: Can you get some Pepto bismol or maybe a flat can of coke?

son: no I can't drink that Pepto stuff...it'll make me throw up and I don't want to be doing that...there's some hotties here and who wants to hook up with a dude that's puking.

me: okay try the coke...get a bottle-shake it up and let the fizz out...try that and see if it works ...as far as your butt...put some cream on it or take a dip in the ocean.  Do hotties like dudes who use desitin?

son: Funny Mom.  Come on ....

me: What the heck were you eating...could something you ate have made you feel so sick?

son:  I had some chicken wings awhile ago...maybe that's it. 

me: what kind of chicken wings? (now I'm thinking)

son: you know hot wings...this place had wings called "ass burners" and it seemed like a dare so I ate 20 of them.

Okay so now you get where I am going with this...first of all 20 hot wings called "ass burners" and he wants to know why his butt is on fire and his stomach hurts???? 

I told him to try the coke or ginger ale and to enjoy his night in the bathroom.  I thanked him for waking me up for his self inflicted butt issues and told him I'd be sure to call @ 4AM to discuss my bathroom issues with him!  I called this morning and his phone goes right to voicemail. 

This kid is smart...really smart but I am left to wonder if the male species leaves their brains in their suitcases when in a pack of other males.  When it comes to some things they think, when it comes to acting like an idiot with a pack of friends their brain tells them they can do it!  This MOM will feel no remorse about this incident. 

All the males in this house pride themselves on being able to consume really hot hot chicken wings ...almost like a contest on who is the dumbest as far as I'm concerned.  I'd have to say this son has to be the winner to date!  Who eats "ass burners" and then wonders why he feels sick?  I guess this is just a testament to honest advertising and my son is going to have to learn the hard way!

I'm sure some of you have dumb men stories of them thinking they have an iron stomach....when will they learn?

Road Trip to the Red Shield Shelter

Good Morning Everyone,

As most of you know last month during the Philly Phreak some of us had the opportunity to meet some wonderful ladies of the Salvation Army Red Shield Family Residence here in Philadelphia.  We dropped off a van load of donations and picked up 3 of the women for dinner.  We all enjoyed the time we spent with them and maybe even learned a few things from the lovely ladies.  At the end of our visit we hugged and told them we would not forget them.

They have all been on my mind since that day and I sent out an email upon my return to all my contacts that there would be another visit to the shelter and donations of gently used items are diapers were vital for these women.  The response has been wonderful.  My garage is overflowing thanks to all these generous souls.  We all heard that diapers have been in short supply so they are rationed.  That alone is enough to break anyone's heart. 

Right now I have no choice but to make the road trip once again-- my garage is packed and the hubby is getting restless not being able to get to his tools!  I know it's short notice but if any of you PNN'ers would like to join me on the road trip it will take place this Sunday, July 19th.  I'm not sure but right now it's looking like this will be a two vehicle donation drop.  I don't think everything will fit in my van this time. I am happy to report there are cases upon cases of diaper of all sizes in my garage!  A local brownie troop of 8 yr. olds dropped off 10 cases.  They took the money the troop made from their cookie sales and purchased diapers for the shelter!  My 16 yr. old donated $50 from her birthday money to buy diapers--that child makes me proud. Another woman is stopping here Saturday....her whole office has been collecting diapers!!  I am in awe at the love in so many hearts!

I have spoken to Mrs. Brotherton and alerted her that we will be coming.  I told her I would get back to her by Friday and let her know if we would be taking some of the ladies out for lunch.

Again I apologize for the short notice and it is understandable if you can not make it this time.  I thought I could put it off a few more weeks but I simply am running out of room!

I will make sure they know all of you send your warm wishes.

Butt Protector Wanted

I never thought in a million years I would spend my days and nights protecting a dog's butt but here I am doing just that! I am now a member of the BUTT POLICE.

I have been forced to humiliate and insult my poor dog Fozzie by making him wear a pair of shorts to protect his poor butt from my other 2 disgusting butt  licking hounds.  It has been a couple of rough days for all of us but particularly the 3 dogs and I.  We are all exhausted.

Several days ago my 2 other dogs Jake (3yr. old lab) and Benny (1 yr old cockapoo) took a shining to my poor old guy Fozzie's butt(13 yr. old lab)  They haven't given the old guy a moments rest with all their gross licking.  Tuesday it hit a high mark when Benny actually went after Jake over Fozzie's butt.  I had to lock him up so I could take the girls to softball.  Wednesday morning Benny again went after Jake 2x and I had to pull him off the boy guy!

I had an idea it was a gland issue but looked it up on the internet anyway.  Yes indeed...anal glands have issues too!  Seemed like this could be it so I called the vet asap and took him over.  Now I will spare all of you the graphic process he undertook but I will tell you it is absolutely stinking gross!  The process was performed by the tech since the vet wouldn't be in till 4.  I had to take him back at 4 for the vet to see him and indeed he has anal gland issues that are highly infected.

The vet explained that the gland gives off a scent ....thus being the reason dogs say hello to one another by sniffing their butts.  When the glands are infected they just keep giving off the scent and attract other dogs. Thus being my damn problem with my other hound dogs!!

Fozzie is on meds and it should clear up in a few days but until then I  have to guard him from the grosso dogs to keep his butt safe!  That wouldn't be so bad but Benny is getting mean with Jake and literally going after him.  This has never happened before--they are buds.  So after an exhausting day playing guard to a butt I cut off a pair of sweatpants and made Fozzie a pair of butt protectors so that no one can get to it.  I still have to hold a newspaper in my hand at all times and warn Benny to back off but Jake was turned off by the shorts--must not be his color!

Benny is driving me crazy with all this ....his attacks have not been nice and I am worried he will bite one of the kids.  He nipped me last night when I tried to get him to back off.  I told all the kids to stay away from him.  We'll see what today holds for Benny...he may find himself under lockdown again or he may find his name on Craigslist under FREE DOG!  I love him dearly but I can't have the kids or Jake being bitten by a ball of fluff!

So here I sit on 4 hours sleep once again protecting the butts in this house and keeping calm in our kingdom!  Anyone who would like to apply for the job just give me a call...I could use the rest.    

  (Irshkate suggested Depends to keep the other dogs away. So being the good sport he is this is my son trying to show the dog it's not too bad!--what we don't do for our pets!) (this one will definitely show up in a wedding video one day!)                                                    

TROOPER BECKY

My post is about Trooper Becky!   This beautiful little lady is 10 years old and is someone in our neighborhood.  She and her sister Maxine played softball with my daughter.  Her mother, Wendy is a great softball coach and has always been right in there volunteering her time.  Several years ago Becky she was diagnosed with OSTEOSARCOMA…bone cancer in her femur.  The bone had to be removed and replaced with a metal rod.  This wonderful child has been through so much over the years as far as treatments and rehabbing but she has so much stinking spunk.  She has a great attitude and a great love of life!

Unfortunately the cancer has metastisized to both her lungs.  The situation does not look good.  Becky was in a trial treatment and was very hopeful….it did not work.  The tumors in her lungs grew.  Even worse is that there are no prospects for any new treatments.

Her family must decide whether to try traditional chemo again thus making her very sick or just let her enjoy her summer and have all the fun she wants. 

This mother, Wendy, is one tough cookie but even a tough cookies begins to crumble a little.  I can not even imagine the strength of this wonderful mother.

So PNN’ers I am asking for your help.  Wendy is asking for everyone to call in all their favors with all of the angels.  She is asking for all of us to send up prayers to help her vibrant little girl.

If you have time visit her website page.  Go to www.carepages.com/carepages/TrooperBecky and sign up for her updates.  Please feel free to leave her family an inspirational message.  They can use all our good wishes and prayers.

I do not feel comfortable posting all the information but you can read all the updates from Wendy on the carepage.

This family truly needs our good thoughts and prayers more now than ever.

MOMS and Really Bad Customer Service

MOMS do not react well to bad customer service.....

http://kellyarmstrong.pnn.com/articles/show/48410-how-not-to-take-a-summer-vacation.

I read the above post this morning and it got me thinking about several times I have encountered terrible customer service.  In times like we are all going through right now customer service can make or break a company.  I really think Cruise American needs to do some severe employee training and rethink their customer service practices about how they treated EW. 

I have had a few run ins with terrible customer service that have ended positively after some creative influence. 

In 1994 I decided to buy a new minivan.  I was driving a yellow paneled station wagon and with 3 kids and medical equipment to drag around I just needed more room.  The Saturday of Memorial Day weekend I went to a local Dodge dealer and picked out the van I wanted, made a great deal , negotiated a few adjustments and left the dealer happy.  The agreement was I could return on Tuesday and all the clear glass would be replaced with tinted glass. 

Tuesday rolled around and I returned to the dealer with my paperwork in hand for my tinted glass and was told I would not be getting tinted glass....I would be getting tinted glass FILM.  Oh no...I had paperwork...I wasn't getting any type of film ...I had better be getting glass.  I was informed the salesman should not have made that promise.  So not my problem...the deal was in writing and the manager had signed it.  Still the dealership would not budge. 

I was really angry and I would not be ignored.  I returned home, picked up my 3 children from my mother, ran into the local 5 and 10,  stopped at a friend's house for her 2 children and headed back to the dealership.  Oh I forgot to add...I had thrown a baby pool and about 20 milk jugs with water into the back of my minivan.  Thankfully my Dad was saving them for who knows what!

I arrived at the dealership with 5 kids under 5 and let them wander at will.  After 20 minutes of being ignored the manager told me if I would just leave they would see what they could do.  Not good enough!

I took my van full of kids to the empty lot across the street and pulled out my baby pool.  I filled it with the jugs of water and let the kids play.  Then I took out the posterboard and markers I had picked up at the 5 &10 and taped them to all my windows.  They said lovely things like "The dealer across the street ripped me off" or "(dealers name) takes advantage of MOTHER WITH SO MANY SMALL CHILDREN."   I had people beeping for about 1/2 or so before the manager of the dealership told me to just wrap all this up and he would give me the glass.  I took all the kids home (yes they were sad as they were having a great time) and returned for the glass.  The van was exactly as I had been promised by the end of the day!

A few years ago I bought a dryer from a local store with a warranty.  The dryer broke within a year and needed a new front.  The repair man took the front and gave me a new one. Great!  Next year the dryer broke down again and the company refused to repair it cause it didn't have the numbers on the front. (Well hello idiots you took it last year--not my fault) I had a 5 yr. warranty and this was one year 2!  I had my hub load up the dryer on his pick up truck , readied my postboards and set up residence in their parking lot.  Signs read " Do not buy appliances here...they do not honor warranties and kids have to wear dirty clothes." or "How is a mother with 10 kids supposed to dry clothes with a broken down dryer purchased here."

It took about 3 hours to get my message across to the store manager until he came out and promised me a new dryer if I would just go home.  The next day they replaced the old one with a new one.

When will companies learn customer service is a number one priority.  When will they learn--DO NOT MESS WITH A MOM WHO MEANS BUSINESS?????

Now I'm sure Embassy Wife is a force to reckoned with and maybe just maybe Cruise America will try to make amends before she really gets mad!  I have a feeling she has a few cards up her sleeve!

Good luck EW....I hope you get the results you so deserve!

Was It An Inside Job???

In the spring of 2005 my husband and I got dressed up to attend a formal function.  Now I'll be honest we don't normally do these things but this was a wedding and sneakers would not be appropriate.  We dressed in our best outfits and splashed on the perfumes and aftershave.  I put on my what little prized jewelry I owned and he did too....wait a cotton picking minute....let me rephrase that...I put mine on but his...was missing!  Where the heck could it be??  He always puts it in his jewelry box that dates back to his youth.  Now keep in mind we had 8 kids total living here then and all of them were suspects.  We looked high and low.  We came up with zilch! 

We questioned the oldest child first-our niece Angela.  She had given us a run for our money in other areas ...could she be the culprit?  After speaking with her we felt guilty but she did have a shaded history.  Each child was questioned and each  totally innocent.  Then we got to the youngest two..our twins.  The first thing they asked if it had been in the treasure chest.  We started to wonder....could they have been playing with its contents and used it for treasures in a gam?  They both said no but the thought wouldn't leave our minds.

Now mind you it wasn't kings gold but it was everything he owned dating back to before kids.  That's when I had purchased the bulk of it...you know the days when I still had money to spend!  When was the last time he had worn it???  We figured out it was in the fall of 2004.  Holy crap that was 5 months ago and who knew where it was.  We looked in every piece of furniture, we offered spending sprees at Toys R Us, we offered ipods and anything else we could think of as a reward for its safe return. Nothing!

We came up with the idea that if they kids thought it was treasure could they have buried it in the yard??  We borrowed a metal detector and came up with a whole lot of trash but still no jewelry.  We were resigned in the fact it would show up eventually.  We put it out of our minds and moved on.

Fast forward 3 months.  Our sons friend Chuck who was welcome in our home anytime like family called us after having a huge blowout with his parents.  This wasn't unusual...the parents were very selfish and volatile.  He was often a fixture in our house and often stayed days on end. Recently we hadn't seen him as much but chalked it up to the fact he was getting ready to graduate.   Chuck was hiding out in the cemetary of all things and needed help.  He had been sleeping there for 2 nights.  I met him and we talked and he asked if I could go to his home with him to approach his parents.  I did. Chuck admitted to his parents he had stolen his Dad's watch and sold it for money to feed a drug habit he had developed.  I stayed for the rough parts and left them to deal with it. We hadn't seen him lately cause he had developed a drug habit and that is something him and my son did not have in common.

The next day Chuck called again...he was on lock down and told he would have to move by graduation.  His parents were moving and he was unwelcome as he had been for years.  Chuck told me he felt suicidal and I rushed over.  I held him and cried with him.  He told me he had stolen from a friend of his to buy food, pot and speed.  I told him we would handle all that but he needed to talk to someone.  He said he had me.  Oh crap...what the hell had I gotten myself into...I could not leave him.  He kept on talking and said he had to tell me something.  Here was Chuck...the kid who came and went as he pleased in my home...telling me ...HE HAD STOLEN ALL MY HUSBAND'S JEWELRY THE FALL BEFORE FROM OUR BEDROOM!!!

I asked him all the details and he told me where he hocked it and how much he got....$90 lousy dollars.  We talked and I told him if he really needed the $$$ I would have given him what he needed and he knew that.  He was truly sorry.  I told him we would work it out but he had to tell my husband.  My husband came over and Chuck confessed.  My hubby told him we'd deal with it later but first we had to get him help.  We waited for his parents.

The cold unfeeling jerks came home and we explained what had occurred that day.  We told them we would not file a charge if they got the child in rehab.  They promised they would. We told them we could talk about payments after he got help.  We checked the pawn shop but the jewelry was long gone! That did not occur.  Next thing we heard was that they were moving in 2 weeks and Chuck would be moving too.

We appoached the parents and asked why no rehab...they told us the kid was fine.  We asked about the payment for the jewelry they told us to chalk it up as a loss.  No friggen way!  The Mom told us the child would make payments...I told her I wasn't Kmart.  They asked for receipts....I always save everything in a lock box....it totaled $3500 at the time of purchase.  She offered me $200!!  I warned her to pay up or we would have to press charges ...she dared me...I did!

Obviously we didn't see Chuck and my son ended the friendship.  The mother begged and I told her to give me what we were owed and get payments from her son.  She gave me a check and I demanded cash...I'm not a fool!  She gave me the $$ and I withdrew the charges.

Chuck has just gotten in touch with my son recently.  He'd like to make amends.  He is no longer on drugs and lives on his own.  He never graduated.  I have long ago forgiven him ...that day in his yard I forgave him.  His parents ....not a chance.  They gave up on that kid when he was only 10.  Leaving him home alone for days at a time so they could vacation alone. The father beating the son and him coming to me in the middle of the night bleeding. Those are unfit parents and I will always blame them.

I'm not sure he is welcome to come to my home but I have told my son I would be open to meeting him at a diner.  I forgave but I just can't trust him.  My husband is a little tougher...he's not sure...he was a kid who was left alone....he would have killed to have someone care for him like we did.  He just can't get over the fact that Chuck stole from us...the people who loved him like our own.

Crime Never Pays

This morning started out a little rocky in our house and I was just starting to calm down when there was a knock on the door!  My son CJ answered the door and there stood a man saying he was here on official business.  He had a warrant for my son's arrest!!!  Holy shit--now wait just a cotton picking minute....my son isn't going anywhere!

I jumped up and told my son to step away from the door and I would handle this.  There I stood still in my PJ's -oh what a sight!  The man told me he was the constable and he was here with a warrant for my son's arrest--I was floored!  My son---are you sure you have the right kid????  What did he do?  The gentleman was very nice and explained my son had a parking ticket from March that apparently he received while on visit to his buddy at Penn State!

I told him I thought I had maybe paid that bill for my son but I knew damn well I hadn't.  I was scrambling ...I just knew I could not let him take my kid....I already planned the escape in my mind!  I told him to wait one minute while I threw on some clothes--kind of hard to look serious with PJ's on!  I came inside and told my son to sit down and shut up while I handled this.....I had no idea what to do at this point but get dressed.

Ok back outside as fast as I could.  I noticed the man's last name on his shirt and the skies opened....I asked him..."Hey are you Tom's brother by any chance?"  As luck would have it BINGO--he was.  "Oh we're friends with Tom--nice guy...he was here last week!"   So I kept going with the idle talk..."Oh so you must be Bobby's cousin too huh?"  Oh yeah...another BINGO.  "Oh that's nice...Bobby and My husband are really good friends."  He was going with it nicely by now and we just kind of bullshitted a bit on my front porch.  One thing I can do is talk to ANYONE....I am a pro..I actually enjoy it!  We talked for about 20 minutes or so and the heavens opened.....an ahhhhh thank God moment....he said hold on one minute...I think I can help you.   Ok I am patient...."Do you want a drink?"  "Ok I'll be right back!"

When I came out good old Joe told me it would be fine if I just mailed in the amount minus his serving fees.  That brought the ticket down to $86.00 from $126.00.  That was music to my ears!  WOO HOO....  We chatted for a few more minutes and he thanked me for the drink.  I promised I would send the ticket and $$ right out and I never break a promise.  I thanked him and he left.

Story over...oh I think not!!!  I still needed to teach my son a lesson.  I put on my straight face and for me that's hard.  I am not a good liar so I needed to talk fast!  I went in and there sat my 6ft --230 lb son ready to shit his pants.  I looked him straight in the face and told him there was nothing I could do.  He would have to go with the constable and I would get him out as soon as I could.  Probably take me a day or so!  The look on his face---PRICELESS---I really thought he was going to cry!  I hugged him and told him I loved him.  I told him to get going the man was waiting...as he neared the door I just had to ask.  "Have you learned your lesson son...see what putting off paying that ticket has gotten you?"  He just looked at me really, really scared and said "I'm sorry Mom.  I never meant for this to happen.  I don't want to go to jail over a ticket or anything else for that matter.  I'm really sorry Mom--I love you!"  As he opened the door I reached out to him...have you had enough?  He took one look at me and I broke ...I laughed my butt off....Gotcha ya!!!  

Now don't get me wrong tickets must be paid on time.  My son was so wrong for putting it off.  I paid it and he will pay me back plus a service fee and interest!  I just had to let him sweat a little before I told him I took care of it.  He needed to be scared if even for a few minutes...he needed to learn a lesson.

I heard him talking to my other son when he got home telling him all about it.  "Damn I was shitting myself...thank God MOM can talk to anyone....I will never complain again about her gabbing ever!!"   Ahhh....the power of the MOM!! PRICELESS.  I think I may even be his new hero if only for today!!

Believe it or not Even I Have Been Called a Bitch

BITCHOLOGY   

When I stand up for 
myself and my beliefs, 
they call me a 
bitch. 

When I stand up for 
those I love, 
they call me a 
bitch. 

When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts 
or do things my own way, they call me a 
bitch. 

Being a bitch 
means I won't 
compromise what's 
in my heart. 
It means I live my life MY way. 
It means I won't allow anyone to step on me. 

When I refuse to 
tolerate injustice and 
speak against it, I am 
defined as a 
bitch. 

The same thing happens when I take time for 
myself instead of being everyone's maid, or when I do something for me. 

It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I 'should' be.

I am outspoken, opinionated and determined. I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that!
So try to stomp on me, just try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce   of beauty I hold within me. 
You won't succeed. 

And if that makes me a bitch ,so be it. 
I embrace the title and am proud to bear it. 

B - Babe 
I - In 
T - Total 
C - Control of 
H - Herself 

B = Beautiful 
I = Intelligent 
T = Talented 
C = Charming 
H = Hell of a Woman 

B = Beautiful 
I = Individual 
T = That 
C = Can 
H = Handle 'anything'    

Has Anyone Ever Tried a Hypnotist?

Okay I need to ask....has anyone ever tried a hypnotist to quit smoking or for that matter to quit anything?

I have a neighbor who swears it works.  She says she was deathly afraid to fly and would not do it.  She says she went to a hypnotist for 2 sessions for a total of $150 and it worked.  She is now flys no problem!

This idea is appealing to me more and more to quit smoking.  I have tried the patch--no dice.  I took it off to smoke and then put it back on.  I tried the gum--tastes like cardboard.  Tried the mints--Oh I got the cherry ones and really reminds me of a wet ashtray.  I still have 3 containers of those cause I bought the big pack --I just knew they would work!  I tried wellbutrin--nothing!  I tried chantix-3x times before and I'm taking it again.  I haven't noticed any change yet but I'm not done trying.

The truth is...I need to stop.  I notice the difference in my breathing.  I get winded going up the steps!  I cough alot.  I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night from coughing, it smells bad and it's just time to stop.

I figure if I can get a hypnotist to help me with smoking maybe they can throw in the bit about me now hating Pepsi!!  I want to try but I am a very skeptical person and I always question.  So what I need to know is if any of you have tried it and did it work????

The Doors of Heaven

Many, many years ago my hubby and I decided to get our very first dog together.   I always had dogs growing up and we were ready to add to our family.  Hub and I took the 2 boys who were very little at the time to the Philadelphia SPCA and scanned the puppies for our soul mate.  We would know when we saw him...he would let us know.  We knew we wanted a boy and we knew we wanted a large breed.  One that would not be deterred by 2 little boys.  We found a wonderful shepard, rottie mix and took him home to begin a new life in our family!  He picked us out of all the others who were there to see puppies.

Boomer bounded into our lives like the big ole guy he was and instantly captured our hearts.  He was too funny following the boys around and found an instant like for sniffing our dirty diapers.  Oh too much!!  Like any other puppy he liked to eat things that he shouldn't!  Shoes, my bed frame, woodwork, kids stuffed animals and yes dirty diapers.  We had to remedy that real quick cause picking up all those gelatin pellets once is enough.

Boomer and the boys spent many months playing and bonding.  They all fell in love!  The 3 of them playing in the backyard every day was a wonderful site to see.  My 3 boys were the loves of my life!!  Wherever my boys went so did Boomer...they were inseparable.  My 3 sons!

Boomer had to be left alone one day for only a few hours while we attended a family party.  When we got home half our couch was destroyed and it was none other than our Boomer who had taken a liking to the leather and ripped it apart!  Needless to say we were not happy but all kids make mistakes and he was no different.

Now just about this time I noticed "the hop" when a dogs back legs move at the same time.  I noticed he was always licking his legs.  I reached out to touch his leg and he flinched so I thought it might be time to get this checked out.  The vet let us know in moments that our poor puppy had hip dysplasia.  We treated him with meds for many months until we knew it had just gotten too bad too fast.  We needed to take his pain into consideration--his quality of life.

When Boomer was 9 months old we made the decision with our vet to put him to sleep.  Now came the huge problem ahead of us--how to tell the boys???  We sat them down and explained that Boomers boo boos were really bad and they were on the inside.  We told them that for Boomer to get better we had to let him live with God because where God lives no one is sick or hurts.  They argued like little boys will do and offered ideas to keep him with us.  One explained that all I needed to do is kiss his boo boos and they would go away.  He knew it worked for him so why not Boomer.  They had noticed Boober being quiet more often and kept to himself a little more.  They realized maybe to love him meant to let him go.

We called the vet and made out appointment for the next day it was time to set him free.  The boys wanted to know "how does Boomer get to heaven and who will take him?"  So one of the hardest lessons I would ever teach them came that day.  I explained the best I could that I would take Boomer the next day to the "doors of heaven."  I could not walk through myself cause once you go to heaven you can not come back.  In heaven everyone is all better and everyday is happy.  In heaven Boomer could run again and even catch the ball in the next baseball game.  Boomer was once a great outfielder in the family wiffle ball game!

The next morning came and the boys were up early.  We took pictures with our furry son and the boys made him bacon and eggs with a little help from Mommy.  When the time came for us to go they handed me Boomer's snuggie(a child's blanket)They had packed up all his toys so he would have something to play with in heaven and made him pictures so he wouldn't forget them.  Tears flowed like crazy as we left the house and the boys stood at the door waving and trying not to let their little hearts break until Boomer couldn't see them.

We took our boy to the vet and held him as they injected the meds into him.  I sat on the floor and held him in my lap and sang to him as he went with God.  I totally lost it when I knew he was gone but at least I put up a good front for my furry son until he couldn't see it.  He was my bud, my son Boomer.  I loved him so much just like the boys.

As we drove home we realized the bag the boys packed was still in the car.  So we pulled over and threw the dog toys into the woods near the dog path so that some other doggies would find them on their walks with their Moms.  Boomer's snuggie was another story--I could not -I would not part with it.  I took it home and snuck it into the house and hid it in the attic.  For Boomer and me!

As we all know little boys ask questions and they wanted to know exactly what had happened.  So I told them ...."Mommy and Daddy walked Boomer to the door of heaven.  We stopped and brushed his hair so he would look good when he met God.  We hugged and Mommy told him how much I loved him and he knew why I would let him go. He knew with God he would be all better and he could jump and catch the ball.   We knocked and God answered.  He was so excited to see our Boomer and welcomed him in with a hug and a kiss! Boomer and I looked each other in the eye and promised to always love each other and Mommy kissed him one last time.  I handed God his toys and handed him my furry son.  God promised to love him as much as I did and Boomer walked away happily and healthy with God.

They were sad for our family but happy for Boomer so we did good.  We made going to heaven a good thing and saved our boys further heartache.  I know everyone has their own ideas on what happens after we die.  But I believe in heaven and there everyone is happy and healthy even my Boomer!

What Will They Get Into This Year?

Every year my hubby and I take the family to the shore for a week.  It's  very important to us as we didn't get that experience as kids.  We want our kids to have those memories to take with them on life's journey.

Two years ago we paid our old babysitter to come stay at our house just so we knew our dogs would survive being here alone with our son.  Our son was 19 at the time and worked crazy hours.  Danielle came to stay with her 2 kids and kept in contact with me and assured me the house, the dogs and the son were all good.  What we found out when we got home is that Danielle just went upstairs when my son decided to have a party!  Apparently he kept it to a small group and no drinking was involved.  Ok ...I so don't believe that but no proof.

Last year we went away and our son , then 20 stayed home again.  Oh he had to work or so we thought!  He had actually taken off the whole week to have his vacation from all of us AT HOME.  He assured me the dogs would be taken care of and no party.  He said only a few of his close friends would be stopping over in the week and that was ok with us since they do that all the time.  Well, well , well ...oh  a few friends did stop by.  All 30 or so!!!  Seems my son is really a little business man.  He took everything he could out of my basement and put it in the family room.  Then he set up tables in our basement for the poker tournament of the season!! 

Apparently this was a whole week event!  Every night the guys would show up and play poker.  I'm assuming for $$$.  My son put everything back the morning we were to return.  He and his best friend hussled to clean everything so I wouldn't notice.  Didn't anyone clue him in ...A Mom just knows?????

First give away...the bathroom sparkled.  Now I know how lazy he is and I knew someone else cleaned it!  Then the 20 or so bags of trash didn't dawn on him that we would notice.  I noticed everything...everything was moved in the basement and things weren't where they were when I left, the carpets were vacuumed, the dishes done,  and I could smell tons of air freshener as I walked in the door!  Not to mention our neighbor has cameras all around and I could see the stream of poker players in full color!

He could have asked...I would have said NO but still!  How does he not remember the cameras???  Oh will he ever understand???

This year he is staying home again along with my 19 year old.  I have already laid down the law.  NO PARTIES!!!  The 3 dogs have to be taken care of without letting them get out and mosey down the street to the girl dog they so love--yes they were found there last year!  Had to be carried home against their will!  I told them their Aunt is coming to stay here.  Now she really isn't but they don't have to know that until I leave.  Then I'm telling them that she will be stopping by unannounced to check.  Again she isn't but they will be on their toes at least a couple of days!

They really are pretty good kids but I just don't want anything happening while I'm away.  It could be worse when I think of it....my Mom did go away and so did my hubby's and Oh did we party!  But that's no excuse...NO PARTIES....why...CAUSE I SAID SO AND I'M THE MOM!!!!

Happy Birthday Mom!!

Happy Birthday Mom!  Today is your day, July 3, 2009.  You are 78 today--good for you Mom.  I can't see you or hear your voice but I feel you in everything I do. 

I want you to know that not a day goes by that I don't think of you.  I have reminders everywhere I look to keep you in my heart and my mind daily. The iris in my garden-do you remember where they're from Mom?  I took them from the garden of your very first home with Dad.  I've transplanted them every time I've moved to keep you near.  You told me when I was a kid that they were the most beautiful flowers in the world and every time I look at them I think of you my beautiful mother.  I have the peonies on the side of my house...do you remember what you told me about them as a child?  You said the little ants work so hard to get them open so I can see the beauty within.  Life is hard work but the beauty inside is amazing.  I have never forgotten that!

Your old purple beat up sweater I keep nearby when I just need a hug and someone to hold me.  For those days only a mother's love will do and I need you I slip it on and cross my arms and imagine you there holding me.  Not really the same but it's all I've got!

On days when the kids have me so tired I don't think I can go another step my memories of you and how hard you worked keep me going.  It's just what a mother does for her kids.  When the kids have pushed me to the limit and tested my patience or have done something wrong--I remind myself-NO MATTER WHAT- just like I saw you do every day of your life.

You taught me to give and give until I have none.  You told me that God would always find a way if I'm not  afraid to give and you were right.  He always helps me find a way to have enough.  You told me on even my darkest days I am never alone cause he walks beside me.  Boy do I have those days.

When I think I am forgetting what you sound like I get a gentle reminder of your voice.  Lauren singing about nothing.  A silly made up no nonsense tune and I hear you in her beautiful voice.  She has your ability to sing like an angel--for that I thank you!

Thank you for being a great MOM!  I really lucked out when I got you as my own.  You taught me so many lessons and I try to do my best.  You told me to live my life with morals and values and I would have no regrets and I have none.  You told me to tell the truth cause it's hard enough to remember that --let alone a lie.  Sometimes people don't like the truth but at least I'm honest.  You taught me to work hard and to always try to better myself.  You taught me so many things and I've tried to remember them.

I always had a party for you on this day but not so again this year.  So instead I pray for you and your safety.  I pray that God gives you a blissful day!  I sincerely hope you are just happy in what you can remember.

I hope one day to see you again and just hear your voice.  Until then I will call even if no one answers.  I will send you cards even if they are returned.  Today I sent you flowers--maybe they won't know it's me who sent them. You will know the iris is from me!

I love you Mom more than you will ever know.  I am here whenever you need me.  Call me and I'll be there in a heartbeat to bring you home where you belong. 

Happy Birthday to you my wonderful Mother!

I will always love you...forever.

My Botox Fiasco

I have had an issue for some time with my face having a mind of its own!  I have hemi facial spasms.  Which means 2 nerves in the back of my neck have gone haywire and my face does it's own thing.  I didn't know for a long time what it was called I just knew I was blinking all them time and my mouth would curl up every time I blinked.  I really thought it had something to do with having a stroke all those years ago or having had Bells palsy way back.  I put it off as long as I could but when it was impairing my driving I just had to have it looked at once and for all.

I had a boatload of tests and they came back with Hemi Facial Spasms.  My choices were medication that hardly ever works, surgery or Botox injections around the eye and mouth.  Well helloooo, botox paid for by my insurance sounded like a plan. I hate meds and surgery--no one likes that!  Ok so I'm thinking botox will stop the damn twitching face and smooth out the wrinkles.  Boy was I delusional!

I was a nervous wreck about getting shots in my face but the thought of being "normal" was something I so wanted.  I had to drive...afterall I am an unpaid taxi and the contract I had at the time required field work so I had no choice. 

I met with my neurologist and set up the botox.  I went on my appointed day in December 2008 and received the shots.  He told me within 4-7 days the twitching would stop and all would be normal. Three days later --a miracle--normal face--no twitching!!  I was elated.  Oh how I sang that docs praises.  Woo hoo!!! On the fifth day...reality slapped me in the face...the left side of my face wouldn't move ...at all!!  It was paralyzed and drool was now spewing from my mouth.  No one could barely understand me!!!

I called the doc asap and he told me that sometimes--some people--have a bad reaction and their face becomes paralyzed. Well hello asshole I am one of those people!!!  Now I have one eyelid that won't open at all and drool coming down my face like a teething baby.  What could I do???  The idiot offered me a lovely "EYE-CRUTCH" that I could hook on my glasses to keep my eyelid open.  At that I just went off on a rant....first I go for the twitching, then when it appears my miracle happened my face goes all to hell and you want me to put a friggen crutch on my glasses.  Hellooooo idiot I looked like a freak before now you've just set me for SUPREME FREAKISHNESS--Oh thank you!!!!

I checked with other docs and was told the same thing over and over--time is all that will help.  The botox has to wear off and that could take up to 6 months.  Oh thanks ...just what I wanted to hear. 

The eyelid did eventually open but for awhile I walked around with one eye open and one shut.  My face looked horrible and I was reminded of my stroke everytime I saw myself in a mirror.  I had to remind myself this was different and it would go away!  The botox took about 3 months to lesson and it thankfully has faded.

Now the twitching has started up again but only a little.  It will worsen as the months go by but this time I will find a different doc.  I have a call into one at the University of Penn.  It will be months before I get an appointment but that's OK.  I will never go see a local--small time hospital neurologist ever again.  I have done my research and learned that my doc should have told me to NOT LAY DOWN for 6 hours after the shots.  He said no such thing...I headed right home afterwards for a nap!!  Could be just what happened or maybe just my bad luck!!

Really not sure if I'll try it again or go for the surgery.  I just know I do not want that frozen look again ever!!!

Did I Hear That Right?

There is a wonderful elderly Italian couple that I just love in my neighborhood.  Over the years we have become very close and I consider them family.  They both came here from Italy in their teens and still have very thick accents.  I just love hearing their stories while visiting with them or talking to them on the phone.  A few weeks ago Pina called me on the phone with exciting news. The conversation went something like this....

(her)Mari...I want you to come over to see what I got...(me) Ok give me a few minutes and I'll be over...what did you get??? (her) I gotta me a new dick...you're gonna justa love it..(me) you got what?? (her)a branda newa dick...it's big!! (me) you sure you want me to come over (her) sure...come on (me) where is Angelo?? isn't he gonna get mad (her) oh no he just loves the newa dick

Ok so now I'm worried and I so don't want to go over to see her new dick...My God their old and she is using that word and worse yet out buying one...what the hell is this world coming to...I look up to these people like second parents and this is way too gross for me.  I know she is expecting me and if I don't go over she will call back again and again so I get in my van and go over.

She is so excited when I get there and grabs me by the arm to usher me in the house. (her) come on, come on you justa gonna love my dick.  I go in and Angelo is smiling like always and kisses me on the cheek. (him)she is so excited about the new DECK. she is driving me crazy. (me) Angelo, what did you say? (him) the DECK. (me)OMG thank you, thank God...you had no idea...I though she said dick and I so did not want to see it. (him) damn it Pina...start saying it right..it's a DECK not a dick...she did the same thing with our daughter and she was mortified!!!  I did see her Deck and it is big. We enjoyed a much needed laugh over the whole thing while drinking Angelo's homemake wine...which at that point I so needed!

SoI learned a lesson that day....just because it sounds like what someone is saying doesn't make it so....it could be totally innocent and you could be the one who took it all wrong.

Fear is Not a Factor for a Mom Hannah!

Now I know this isn't exactly the network version but in 2005 on a trip to Universal Studios in Florida this Mom could not turn down this dare!

Being the Mom of all these kids sometimes doesn't leave me alot of time to just relax and go crazy.  Not that I'm all prim and proper by any means but my kids see me AS THE ONE WHO ALWAYS GETS THE JOB DONEand Dad more of THE FUN ONE!

In Universal they have a show by the producers of Fear Factor right there in the park.  My kids thought it would be funny to dare me to audition never once thinking I would do it.  I found out the times of auditions and told them to meet me at the proper time at the show.  The hubby and I stood in line and waited our turn.  The older kids just laughed and told me I would never even get picked but they were just sure good old Dad would.  We waited till audition time and there was just two questions--"Why should we pick you and why?"  There were 20 of us and each took their turn.  Hubby thought he was a shoo in and answered they should pick him because of he would try anything once.  I answered with the truth...."I am the mother of 7 children and if I can do that --I can do anything." 

My kids were stunned to say the least when I was chosen over Dad.  Only 6 of us made it to the game and my family was in shock that I was one of the 6!  I kissed them all goodbye and  headed off for my safety class.  Yes they do alot of prep even in Disney World.  I had to watch a video, change into paper underwear of all things (you know that is in case you crap your pants), put on a spandex suit (not all Moms are meant to wear spandex)  and go over what I should do if I were to fall.  I also had to sign countless forms that basically said if I splatted to the ground I did it of my own free will. Finally we were fitted with safety harnesses and the games began!

We were assembled and told our first test would be to go up on a ramp at least 4 stories and stand on a slim piece of wood and hold on to what looked like handbars.  Once we were all out on our own piece of wood they were to be removed and we had to just hang.  The 3 who hung the longest would move on to the next round.  Piece of cake right???  No are you kidding me this Mom is terrified of 2 things and heights are on that list!!! 

I had to remind myself over and over that this was MY CHANCE to show my kids I could have fun and be spontaneous just like Dad.  I could not bitch out now!  I was glad they had given me those paper undies about now cause I was sure I would be the one to crap my pants!

Each of us were announced with our own little profile and assembled on our  wooden rails and grabbed our handles.  As we were hanging a hush came over the crowd and all of a sudden I heard children crying at the top of their lungs.  Horrible gut wrenching bawling to say the least.  At first I thought --would someone shut them up and then I realized it was MYthen 6  year old twins screaming and crying.  They were out of control!!!  So hanging there contemplating how they would be scraping me off the floor I switched into MOTHER MODE and yelled that I would be right down and I was OK.  They seemed to buy my lies and settled a little and then the crowd started to chant "Mom, Mom, Mom!"  What a rush!  Now I'd like to tell you I held on the longest but no I didn't. I can tell you that while I was free falling my only thought was "I am finally cool in the eyes of my boys."  I could splat with a smile. I did make it to the next round but faltered quickly. 

I may not have won the big prize but I did get a nice T-shirt and a voucher for my family to have dinner.  More than that I gained a little respect for myself and what I can overcome and a whole lot of respect from my family especially my boys.  I proved to myself that my really high blood pressure and my fear of heights can't hold me back when it comes to my kids ever.  My husband also was a little shaken up seeing me way up there--just thinking about having to take care of 7 kids on his own was a revelation for him all in itself!!  He did show his gratitude in other ways but that might be too much information for  proper women like all of you!

The lesson in all this "Never, ever , underestimate the power of the MOM."

Not Just Any Other Day

She awoke just like any other day sleeping beside her mother and her brother fitfully.  The noise was sometimes overwhelming and she was afraid of the other occupants.  She clung to her mom and hoped they wouldn’t see her , touch her or talk to her as she lay.  At the sound of the alarm she urged her mom to get up and get going they didn’t have much time.  They needed to get moving, get dressed, gather their belongings and hurry to breakfast.  This had been the morning drill for several weeks.  This was the morning routine of the emergency shelter they now called home.  Everyone out by 9AM and they weren’t permitted back until 7pm that night.  It was going to be another long day!

Her mother seemed excited in a way that seemed rare.  She led the way and they followed with the innocence of typical 7 year olds.

The day would be long but her mother’s excitement was catching as she promised a shopping trip and a McDonald’s lunch.  First things first and they landed in the local welfare office waiting to see their worker for the day.

The visit went well and Mom was elated.  Maybe it really would be a good day and things were looking up.  She doesn’t remember the particulars but any 7 year old wouldn’t either.  She knows they all got new shoes , new underwear and even an outfit.  They dined like royalty at McDonald’s and played in the playground.  Mom seemed happy for the first time in weeks.  Maybe she had huge plans for them, maybe they would find a new home.

When the day was coming to an end and they were tuckered out from all the great fun that day they headed back to the shelter.  Mom promised one  stop to see her friend and they would still have time to get slurpees.  Mom met her friend, they got their slurpees and made it back to the shelter before curfew.  They lay their heads on the cot while Mom chatted with some of the other residents and fell to sleep happy that the day had gone so well.

The next morning the alarm went off as usual but her mother would not wake.  She thought her Mom must be very tired since the noises at night were often scary.  Again she tried and could not wake her so she readied herself for the day and sought out the shelter lady with the big smile.  From there on out things were a blur.  Workers hurried to her Moms side and ushered the rest of the occupants to the dining area except for her and her brother.  They got to sit in the office and eat there at the desk which just wasn’t done.

An hour later Aunt B. came to see them and asked if they’d like to spend the day with her since Mom must be sick.  Sad for Mom but Aunt B.’s was a great place and they were always spoiled there so they were in for a great day while Mom could rest or so she thought.

Aunt M. and Uncle C. were waiting at Aunt B.’s with Angela when she got there so that was a great surprise.  She loved Angela so much but who doesn’t love their big sister.  They all hugged and laughed and then Aunt M. carried her into the living room and held her tight.  Angela wanted to talk to them so everyone sat down.  Her sister started to talk but all she did was stutter and cry and that is when she realized today would not be a great day!  As Aunt M. held her tight she told them that Mommy had gone to heaven.  Mommy needed to be with the angels because she had been sick and that was the only way Mommy could be better.  A few tears fell and she looked into Uncle C.’s eyes as the tears rolled down his face and told him she would be OK she was going to the safe place…his place…just like Angela.

  Mom had met her friend the night before and purchased several hundreds of dollars worth of heroin and done it all.  Mom died of a heroin overdose sometime in the early morning hours.  Mom went to meet the angels and Tayllor started on a brand new life.  She is our Tayllor and she is still here forever in Uncle C.’s safe place.  Safe in our hearts and part of our family.

A Reminder to Vote for Your Favorite Posts by Tomorrow.

The other day I was reminded that the deadline for voting on The Write Thing contest was fast approaching...6/29/08...tomorrow.  One of our talented ladies was kind enought to direct me to the page.  These PNN'ers have poured their hearts into these posts and are counting on all of us to read and vote.  I was shocked at the lack of total votes for everyone and wondered if others may not know where the page is either.  I have gone to the page and spent alot of time reading and voting.  Wow...I'm glad I did or I would have missed out on some great posts and some great writers.

If you have the chance please stop by the page and enjoy the writing.www.pnn.com/contest/show/7-to-do-the-write-thing

Cast your votes for all the posts you enjoy.  Really all it will cost you is a little time and you might be able to help out one of the talented PNN'ers achieve their dreams.  Have a great day!

Home Again Home Again

Our 24 year old niece is living home again and it's so full of drama.  We have raised her since she was 15.  She has moved out 2x and back again she is!  Oh yes I cried the first time she moved but not the second --Oh no!

Our house is in an uproar since I had to pick her up on Wednesday when her and her girlfriend battled in a parking lot.  I had already gone to bed when I got a call from the girlfriend to pick her up!  Now I know the relationship is not what I call calm so my big older son went with me to keep the piece.  I arrived to witness the girlfriend trying to back over my niece and as soon as I parked she took off!  She is a little afraid of me as I don't like to take shit from anyone and she knows it!

My niece was standing with several friends and I told her to get in we would talk at home.  She did and just then the girlfriend peeled back in and came to a stop in front of me.  Now I am tired and not putting up with this shit so late so I tell her go home to your mom and let this alone till tomorrow.  She wanted to explain.  I don't want to know!!

Since then I have had to deal with my phone ringing all damn night 2 nights in a row. I had to fetch all the niece's belonging from behind a dumpster at 7/11 (oh so many germs-sickening to say the least) Crying at my house!  My other kids getting in disarray from all the chaos. My hubby ready to lose a gasket (I did remind him she is from his side).

Here's my conclusion.  This relationship is volatile!  They fight like cats and dogs, the GF wants to control every move, GF doesn't work, my niece pays for everything, GF needs therapy if nothing else and needs to grow the F up!  It's time to move on!

Now I do realize our niece is 24 and has to make her own decisions so I did not tell her what to do.  I told her to take some time to think whether this girl, this relationship brings anything positive into her life.  Make a list of all the pros and cons.  Which list is longer?  Does this relationship increase or decrease your happiness?  I'm no dummy...if I tell her what to do she will resent me either way.  It's her choice. I've laid down my rules and she has to abide by them.  We all help out with the chores and she will not be treated like a guest.  If you chose to stay out all night text me so I don't worry.

My hubby asked me yesterday why I am putting myself through all this with her when she hasn't been very family oriented in over a year.  Yes she calls occasionally and I email her always but she comes over as she pleases and never lends a hand or an ear!  Her little sister is here and she just ignores her--no spending time with her no anything.

Our niece has been through alot in 24 years.  She has alot of baggage from growing up with a volatile mom and drugs all around.  Her mom didn't pay alot of attention to her growing up and she never knew her dad.  She knew who he was just didn't meet him till she was 19.  She put up with fighting, drugs and an abusive step dad.  She got pregnant at 15 by her mom's 27 yr old friend. The day I found out she came to live with us!  Yes, we've loved her and guided her.  We've given her morals and values.  We've done for her everything we've done for our own kids.

So to answer my hubby I told him...she came not only came into our home but into our hearts.  I know I'm not her mom but in my heart she is my child.  I love her and will be here for her forever!  NO MATTER WHAT!  That's what Mom's do....no matter what.

Here's hoping and praying she gets it together.  I wish I could make her choices but that is not to be.  So all I can do is listen, guide and love.

Here You Go Take it All

The other morning my husband left for work at the usual time—5:30.  At 5:45 he called frantic cause all the change he keeps in the truck for tolls was gone.  He went to grab his bank cards to get $$ and they were gone too.  He was on his way home –we had been robbed. 

I immediately checked one bank account online and saw that someone was using it and having a grand old time!  The other account was at a credit union and purchases don’t show immediately.  I called the first one and reported it stolen using the prompts on the phone.  The 2^nd one I discovered can’t be cancelled unless you call during business hours.  That was 2 hours away!!

My hubby arrived home about the same time as the police arrived.  We gave our statements and he told us the local police figured it was groups of kids coming up from the city and fanning out on area streets robbing cars late at  night.  He said there were probably runners who picked up the stolen booty and did the shopping with bank cards that were stolen.  Just 2 weeks earlier 4 streets including ours were hit and over 30 cars/trucks robbed.

Well that was his thought until we gave him proof otherwise!!

See I have this great next door neighbor who happens to be a locksmith.  He needs to be secure because of some of the contracts he serves.  He also happens to have surveillance camera’s all around his house!  Those camera’s cover the one side of my house, the back and the entire front where we park our vehicles.  We knocked on his door and he pulled up the tapes and low and behold OUR FAVORITE ROBBER live on tape!!

 The tapes showed at 4:33AM my 18 yr. Old son parked his car and entered our house.  At 4:57 robber opened my hubby’s locked truck with some kind of remote , got in and took his wallet. Robber walked right past my unlocked bus in the driveway and past 2 of my son’s cars.  He walked right up the locksmiths driveway-looked at the lights which happen to have camera’s mounted next to them and open his son’s car.  (What a great picture buddy sorry you didn’t smile!) Tried the locksmith truck-couldn’t get in, walked across the street and tried 2 more cars with no success and left the street.

The police now have a copy of that tape and their theory blown out of the water.  It was just one guy!

Must have gone straight to Walmart to spend his hard earned booty or should I say OURS!!  At 5:36 AM he bought a TV, air conditioner, DVD’s, BBQ grill and lawnmower all thanks to US.  We’re just nice that way!! 

I contacted Walmart @ 6:30 AM since I could see some of the purchases on our 1 account that posts immediately.  Their asset protection people were very nice to follow tapes and print me out the pictures of our friendly shopper and low and behold IT IS THE SAME EXACT GUY!  No groups, No runners –just one really rotten jerk!  I gave the officer copies of the photos.

They have his photo and his video.  Robber is not a kid.  He is about 30ish.  He apparently has a record since he wore very nice gloves so as not to leave fingerprints.  He dresses casually in tan pants, white shirt, black jacket and doesn’t seemed bothered in the least by motion lights!  He could be anyone—doesn’t dress like someone skulking in the night!

I did ask Walmart how does a man use 2 different debit  cards printed with a very Italian last name and a strange first name without anyone having attention called to it!  He just doesn’ t fit the bill. How does one get away with just signing the letter “C.”  I can’t do that with my cards.  Thing is cashiers don’t look anymore.  You just swipe and sign whether it’s a debit card or not.  Debit cards can just be run through as a credit card avoiding the pin number all together.

Robber got almost $2000 dollars of our hard earned money.  He caused me to freeze 2 bank accounts and bounce checks.  I had to file disputes at both banks.  One easily –one with loads of paperwork.  It will take 10 business days to get our $$ back. 

In the meantime I have copied that jerks photo and description of his work and handed it out to every house within 10 blocks of our house. I have gotten the chance to meet alot of people that I have never met.   Helps to have your own army of workers!!  I was up that morning and I heard nothing.  My 3 dogs heard nothing.  Now I sit out front on my steps since I do get up about 4ish and just enjoy the quiet morning as I caress my aluminum bat!  Not to worry I have 2 very big boys to drag his ass in the house if my bat happens to slip!

Update on the Power of Friendship

 I wrote a post "The Power of Friendship" in May.  I didn't feel comfortable using the girls names or specifics.  Since then I have spoken to one of the girls at length--the friend-Laura.  She encouraged me to tell the whole story and fill in the updates in the hopes that their story will change just one person's life in some way.

On 12/5/08 Christine McGhee's life changed forever after being run over with a truck by her boyfriend while attending Kutztown University in PA.  He hit her , drug her about 100 ft. and left her in the parking lot for dead!    She was found hours later and immediately flown to the hospital in critical condition.  She had severe head trauma, a shattered jaw and broken ribs just to name a few.  Her family was told to say goodbye but somehow her will to live will just not give up.  She continues to fight inside her little battered body. She is trapped within her own body and is limited to only occasional eye movements.  It seems unlikely Christine understand her surroundings yet her family and friends will not give up! They talk to her and fill her in looking for that glimmer of healing.

After so much time in the hospital the family chose to take her home with the hope that time will heal and rehab can begin.  This has been a huge financial burden and insurance will only pay so long.

Her friend Laura Costa has worked her butt off trying to help the family.  She has worked tirelessly and pulled off huge fundraisers with all the $$ going to the family.  She wants Christine to have all she needs.  Laura told me that Christine was a vivacious, carefree, caring, brave, understanding, big hearted and determined girl.  Laura said she has so much to live for and so much to offer.  Knowing her friend she knows Christine will be back--it's just time she needs!  When Laura is asked why she does all this she says "Everyone has a friend in their lives they feel as if they can't live without.  Chrisine is that friend for me."

Laura and Christine went to high school with my oldest son CJ.  When we heard the news he asked me to help Laura and who am I so say no.  Laura is the kind of friend we all hope our kids find in their lives.  She is loving and wonderous!  She is determined to find her friend again.  To laugh, cry and live life to the fullest with her friend once again and who am I to say any different.  She will not give up no what the odds.  She is waiting for her miracle.  Seeing her love and determination I'd be willing to bet her miracle is out there just waiting for the right time to occur.

The other night I stopped by a beef and beer Laura had for Christine.  I hugged her and told her how proud I am of her.  I met her Mom and told her she should be so proud of her girl.  With tears in her eyes Laura pointed out the incredible artwork covering the walls--Christine's.  Talent beyond words!  Before I left Laura asked me "have you seen Christine?"  I asked where the photos were and she said "No, Mrs. B. Christine is right there."  There she was that wonderful, dazzling child sitting in her wheelchair.   Eyes closed, head back, dressed in a pretty little outfit right beside her Mom.  I didn't think it was appropriate to just walk over so I said a prayer as I passed and left the hall.

I got in my van and just cried.  I knew Christine's story and my heart just bleeds for all of them but somehow seeing this adorable child really hit my heart even harder.  I can't help Christine but I can do as Laura asked and get the word out so here I am asking you to help if you can.

Laura is having an online fundraiser for Christine.  25% of all proceeds will be donated to the family.  Please go to www.marykay.com/janetmaeward and place an order (again only if you can)  Please add $5 for delivery.  In the comment section it is very important you note:  Christine fundraiser.  I know all of you will help out.  If finances don't permit please add these girls to your prayers. 

Again I am inspired and in awe of the power of friendship!  Laura knows she can't control Christine's physical recovery so she took on something she can control.  She will be there waiting for Christine no matter what the outcome.  Standing there by her side reminding  her she loves her and waiting for her return.

Thank you ladies and gentlemen!

TIME TO TURN THIS THING AROUND

Good Morning,

After the events of the past few weeks , especially the past several days I had decided my time here at PNN had come to a close.  I came to PNN  by accident --I stayed because I thought I had found a place where I too could just be free to be me.  Certain attitudes towards me have excalated over the past few days and quite honestly  it just wasn't healthy for me to continue.  Those same attitudes came from some that I have reached out to with compassion and genuine caring.  The final straw for me was  a private message letting me know that I AM THE CAUSE OF ANIMOSITY AMONGST ALL OF YOU.  That I could not bare.  I care about all of you in some shape or form.  I didn't want to hurt anyone.  Really life is hard enough I don't need to be getting upset and crying over something on this computer.

Yesterday I received quite a few messages and phone calls of compassion and honestly.  I appreciated that.  I have also spoken to Leigh over the past few days and we have talked at length.  So I have decided I will not leave this place I have come to enjoy.  Damn it I DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE sometimes and really all I ever wanted was to be here to enjoy, laugh and even lend a hand once in awhile. 

Maybe just maybe I was meant to find PNN.  To find laughs, friends, and support.  To be here to help someone out or see the good in themselves when they can't see it.  Maybe I need to be here  at times to call some of you on really crappy behavior when things get out of hand. 

Pnn is a global water cooler and yes damn it this world includes men so ladies get used to it.  We are free to let it all out on here, free to differ in views and opinions.  Free to hash it out or click the X to leave a page.  This is a judgement free zone at least for me.  By that I do not refer to God or religion--NO ONE has the right to attack a personal family decision.  NO ONE has the right to insult any of our children.  I am speaking of a sense of right and wrong.  We can offer our opinions on subjects but to adamantly think we are right about one of our members children--it is time to back off!  So when I say no one has the right to JUDGE I am referring to one of us.  Not one of us has the right to JUDGE another member.  Seriously unless you have walked the same exact mile in the same exact shoes do not judge someone HERE! 

The pettiness, cattiness, down right middle school behavior has to stop.  For those of you who call attention to my parenting really it's not me your upset with it's yourself.  For those who want to ONE UP me...QUITE OFTEN...go ahead!  It has been going on for weeks.  There are some who always have to point out to me that they have done one better always.  Good for you--I mean that.   I will never be a jealous person.  I am genuinely happy for any joy or success in your lives.  Some have tried to prove to me they are better women than me...maybe you are.  But really there is room for all of us and I for one will not be intimidated by anyone.  When we see someone crossing the line or bullying please open your mouth and say to your friend--wait a minute maybe that was a bit too much and maybe you will  be able to change the course of the conversation.  I for one will always speak up and if that infuriates any of you---really that's just too bad.

So enough said...I am here to stay and I am sorry if that disappoints anyone.  Kate and Postal I hope you see this--the three of us do make a difference just like everyone else.  Kate you are needed here ...you made a wonderful difference in my life and helped me....even if you didn't know. Postal you just plain make me laugh...

Let's get back to business ladies and gentlemen.  PNN is a wonderful outlet for us.  Let's continue to support, laugh, discuss and even disagree but let's remember that people do have feelings.  As for the private messages.  If you want to message me so that no one else can see what you say to me out of anger please save your energy.

I for one will continue to laugh with all of you and sometimes at you.  I will continue to learn from you and hope maybe you learn something from me too.  I will continue to remind you that you are valuable and deserve the best.  I will remind all of you that you should be adored and loved even when someone has convinced you otherwise.  Take me as I am.  You either like me or you don't your choice. 

Thank you for taking the time to read this.  No comments are needed as we don't need to rehash any of this....we just need to get back to being who we are and being the voices of PNN.  I for one believe all of us....including me can make a difference in each other's lives even if that's just a smile!  Now I need to get back to collecting items for the lovely ladies of the Red Shield shelter.  I believe I got more out of that than they did.  To give sometimes is truly to receive.  We made a difference in their lives and they have touched my heart in a way I can't begin to explain!!!!

Have a great day everyone....I know I will!!!!

Cleaning Up The Mess

Saturday began with softball like every other weekend for the past several months.  The game went smoothly and the weather cooperated.  Halfway through the game while the sun was out where I was about 5 miles from my home my daughter called me to ask what she should do as our backyard was under water.  I thought she was kidding till she sent me a pic message!

The game ended promptly and we set out for home.  We went about 2 miles north and all hell broke loose!  The road was down to one lane each way due to flooding on the roads and we wondered how long till we could get home.  We made it home in about 30 minutes due to all the water.

Our street looked like a river and I searched for Hannah's ark--nothing.  My son's car had water up to the top of his hood while he slumbered inside at nearly 1PM.  I jumped out like I thought I could swim and grabbed the keys to his car and moved it to the driveway along with my son's truck.  He was also in a slumber! 

We ran inside and checked the homestead --no water in the house except for a trickle in the basement.  Our garage well that's another story--free flowing water going straight through to the other side.  What could have caused that we have never had water before?  Now we did get 5.5 inches in little over an hour but still it has never happened.  We step out back and it seems the 3 wonder dogs have had a busy week digging a 2 foot trench at the back of the garage.  Thus allowing a pool to form and enter the water.

Out we go to fill in the trench and stop the river!  We look over and our neighbors who happen to be away have a full fledged pool covering what used to be their grass.  We ran over (yes i had swimmies on) and checked their sunroom.  Everything that wasn't heavy was floating and the water was up to the step entering their family room.  No way in--damn doors locked.

Another neighbor we knew had keys and so our bail out began.  I stepped into their yard and the water was up to almost my knee.  The gate on one side of their yard blocked all the water and had caused a pool to form.  Using my superpowers (my sons--they are  mine so that qualifies as "my powers")I got the gate open and a tidal wave flowed on thru. 

We spent about 2.5 hours doing our best at the neighbors as I'm sure they would do it for us.  They are the greatest neighbors ever.  We tackled our garage Sunday and removed everything , scrubbed it and let it dry but that damn horrid smell is gonna drive me crazy till i can rid myself of it.

See you all thought I lived a dull boring life.  I survived the flood without Hannah's ark and didn't even have to know how to swim!  Thus the life of this Mom is never dull just dirty!

My Deal of the Day

I had to go to the grocery store for a change.  I got the deal of the day!!  Chinet lunch plates were on sale for $1.24 for a 36 ct.  There were manufacturer coupons attached to a display that said buy one pack of chinet and get 1 free up to 3.99.  I loaded up 8 packs of the lunch plates @1.24 each and put 8 packs of 32 ct. dinner plates marked 3.99and they would be free.  To top it off I found one of those smartsource coupon distributor machines that had $1 off each pack of chinet plates.  So that was another $16 off.  They ended up paying me to buy the plates!!!